mnc42: I am not allowed to use this word (see pics) when I speak with Massa; I won’t even type
mnc42: I am not allowed to use this word (see pics) when I speak with Massa; I won’t even type in this post. Removing this word from conversations with Massa was one of his first rules for me. If I choose, I may use it with anybody other Massa. However, I have actually found too difficult to switch back and forth and so for the most part, it has been eliminated from my vocabulary. Occasionally, it will pop out when I am talking to a friend, but it’s truly startling to me when I say it. Rarely, it comes out when I am talking to Massa. I am always embarrassed and mortified when it happens. And I am always punished. Masssa isn’t cruel or unfair. When creates a rule for me, there is always reason. This word is causal in nature and Massa and I do not have a casual relationship. We are not friends. We are not equals. I am his submissive, his slave, his cunt, his nigger. He is my Dom, my Sir, my Massa. When he first instituted this rule, I have to admit I didn’t really understand it. I thought is was about his amusement. I thought it was a way to illicit punishment. What I later learned is by taking this word away from me, Massa was deliberately, artfully beginning to train me. I became more mindful when I spoke to him. I was able to better remember my place and my purpose. My ultimate goal became to make Massa proud of me. Interestingly, his teachings translated beyond my conversations with him. I have become more mindful, in general. Whenever I am stuck in any area of my life, I have Massa’s lessons to guide me. My ultimate goal is to make Massa proud of everything I do, kink and non kink. Last night, I fucked up. Massa and I were talking about some small routine life event and I slipped. I felt ashamed and embarrassed. He punished me immediately. (For the record, I am not a brat and do not like punishment nor disappointing Massa) He also gave me this task: Write “the word” on your body 20 times before you leave for work in the morning. Throughout the day, cross out one word at a time. This means you must go to the bathroom undress, cross out one word, get dressed and return to your desk. This must be repeated until all 20 words are crossed out. You must be done with this task before leaving your office. I appreciate Massa’s teachings. I appreciate his discipline. I even appreciate his punishments. Anyone can pretend to be a Dom; anyone can “dominant” by simply beat a cunt when she is disobedient. However, a true Dom takes the time and energy to train and guide his cunt. A true Dom wants his cunt to be happy, healthy, respectful, honest, and obedient. I have found that understanding my purpose and place has been incredibly freeing. Being a submissive should not be a burden; it should be liberating. Thank you, Massa. Devotional Training: Cultivating Mindfulness. -- source link
#mindfulness