Major TW for rape, victim blaming#ByePhylicia: Why Phylicia Rashad and Everyone Else Needs to Forget

Major TW for rape, victim blaming#ByePhylicia: Why Phylicia Rashad and Everyone Else Needs to Forget Bill Cosby’s “Legacy”“Dear Phylicia Rashad,I am disappointed in you.Any Black woman can tell you that her womanhood and her Blackness are inextricably linked. If you’ve been paying attention, you’ll notice that many of the people leading #BlackLivesMatter actions are Black women. We know that our communities are subject to racist justice systems. And so we also know it can be hard to accept the truth that some Black men—like your beloved Bill—are capable of horrible acts, especially when it comes to violence against women.Phylicia, your words were harmful to people who happen to be Black Women Survivors. You said you were misquoted, and then you restated your point. You argued that there was a “declaration in the media of guilt without proof”. I’m waiting for someone to tell me exactly what “evidence” or “proof” of rape and sexual assault looks like. For many of us, our abusers used condoms, or perhaps did not penetrate. Perhaps we were involved in an otherwise consensual and public relationship, which complicates our allegations. Many of us showered any evidence away because we didn’t want to smell him anymore. And some of us have already been labeled “loose” or “thots,” so you wouldn’t believe us anyway. Traumatized, we chose not to report. Why would we invite police officers into our home when we know they have a terrible track record in our communities? Why would we talk to college administrators when they’re under institutional pressure to dismiss sexual assault allegations?We throw around this notion of “proof” as if the detectives from "Law and Order: Special Victims Unit” will show up with a Ziploc baggie of all the magical evidence. But we never had “proof” that would satisfy people like you. I wonder if you also want proof that a historical Jesus actually lived, that a country called “Greenland” actually exists if you’ve never been there yourself, or that there actually was a moon landing. We believe things we have less proof of every day, because they’re more convenient than facing the facts about the character of a man you thought you knew.Phylicia, my sister, you disappointed me. In the same way that Bill Cosby was “America’s Dad,” you were “America’s Mom”. For Black Feminists like myself, you were an important part of my ideological formation. Then I remembered, the same way that Heathcliff was a fictional character, so was Clair. I don’t know why I hoped you’d be some magical Black Feminist Fairy to stand on the side of Black Women.Phylicia, I think you are protecting the wrong person in this case. What about the legacy of the rape culture we live in—and how you are now one its most public perpetuants? Phylicia, forget Bill’s legacy.“The author of this piece has requested to remain anonymous.Read the full piece here. These are just excerpts and it’s a REALLY good essay. -- source link

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