It had been a long week. There was always so much which needed doing. There was rarely any down time
It had been a long week. There was always so much which needed doing. There was rarely any down time. But with endless back-to-back meetings, there was no time left for her to work, and not enough hours in the day to get it all done. She knew how to be herself at work. She always had, that was a normal environment she could let herself get lost in. She had learned to temper her annoyance when those less intelligent than she was, attempted to treat her as if she worked for them, even though she did not. She would conveniently ignore their statements and went on with what had to be done. She often knew to whom she needed to feed a good plan, because she knew in advance, she would not be heard of followed, and it was too important to the success of the organization to simply let go of. It was a personal reward when she could see her plans come together successfully, making a positive impact on the organization. She made it a point to never feed a plan to the same person twice. She had done that once, and got herself fired, as he got promoted beyond his capacity to manage, and he did not want anybody to find out she was the one with the great ideas. And yes, there was a bit of satisfaction when he lost his job as a two-trick pony. She had been married once, it was no good, it was not that they were polar opposites, it was if they did not even inhabit the same hemisphere. She was not unhappy to be alone, as much as she was sad that there was no way she ever saw to be able to be herself in a relationship. She already had a suspicion when she began to read about the lifestyle that there was a place, she may be able to fit in. But after trying if for about 5 years, it became abundantly clear, that each Dom or Master she met, had a clear idea about who she was. And they chose to tell her who she was. One had her as a little girl bimbo. Another just a bimbo whore. Others insisted that she was wanting to be spanked and hurt, while still others insisted that she lived to please others while crawling on her knees begging for direction. She had tried in an online means to follow the edicts of the Wanna-Be Doms. Who may or may not have had the years of experience they claimed to have, but she was truly not into the pain they claimed she wanted, or the shaming she was supposed to need. Are they all our of their minds? she often thought. And she accepted one more attempt to find her nirvana. She had finally decided, it simply was not worth it. She continued to keep her blog alive because it was her learning story. Such that it had been so far. And then, even it had begun to feel like work. Today however was a new day. She had spoken again to a man who seemed familiar to her. Not in a way she knew him, so much as she really could know him. It was hard to wrap her mind around since most of her had given up on even thinking it was possible. This place she thought she must belong, seemed to get further and further away. How could this be that she had found where she should fit. But even there where she should be able to understand, she still did not fit. While she had spoken to him off and on for a long while, he could see her, really see her. He saw how she fit, and what about her was not what others had claimed she was. Every part of what he said was so easy to see. Not in a way she had to convince herself to try to see. But more, easily see exactly as it really is. He said, he saw her. And he observed things. Actions reactions, world views. The complete view of her. When he said what he saw, she could genuinely see herself through his eyes. And it did not scream that it was wrong. She felt a little off balance. It felt strangely like there was hope deep inside, that she really may be able to fit with someone, where she did not have to hide who she was at all. She could work hard all day, make the tough decisions which had to be made, make the calls and do the job. And know that there was a way to come home at the end of the day and curl up and be small. Safe. He understood the importance of time, and the building of trust. As she sank into the hot water in the hot tub, it was as if for the first time in her life she could truly feel the water pulling the stress from her body, smell the jasmine scent as it wafted past her nose and sank into her every pore. The let candles on the shelf above her lit the room strangely and seemed to take her with away on the waves of the flames, each breath felt clean and free, and they had not even met in person yet. Her fingers roamed her body in a slow sensual way she rarely allowed. Pinching her nipples which were already awake and begging to be sucked and nuzzled. She was slick in the water clearly needing to be entered, grabbing her glass wand she teased her clit and her opening while rocking her hips in an eagerness for the wand to be pushed inside; she forced herself to wait. She made the touching and teasing last an eternity until she could stand it no longer. She imagined him telling her to cum for him, and then exploded in an orgasm which took long minutes to recover from. She was breathing heavily, the jasmine scent making her feel like she was floating over a tropical island. When she was returned from the floating trip, she reached down to the side of the tub to retrieve the red wine which she had been sipping earlier, it tasted amazing, and the cool glass as it touched her skin, made her somehow ache for his touch. It had been so exceptionally long since she had felt this way, she was afraid to trust it. And yet at the same time, she could not help but do exactly that. Was it crazy to be thinking about a future with someone you were only just getting to know? She sank under the water. Allowing it to engulf her, the way she could see him one day, engulfing her. A hug to end all hugs, and a kiss in the same way tripping her silent, hidden trigger to forever. To have hope, for the first time in an enormously long time, felt exhilarating. And at the same time, terrifying. One thing was for certain, she was excited about the week ahead in a way she had never been before. She held back afraid to reveal too much. But felt certain she could burst from excitement. She realized as she crawled out of when watery comfort of the tub, it was like her cocoon. and in that moment, she was humming a song from long ago, and even the birds outside seemed to join in her song. She smiled imagining that she like the butterflies could become beautiful in flight. That she was simply waiting for him to release her from her chrysalis, into her freedom in him. While she wrapped the absorbent towel around herself, and then following her lotion, slipped on her silk robe luxuriating in the feel of it against her skin. Stange, she thought as she headed to bed, hope and believing in another, really could help one’s outlook. Get ready self she thought as she nestled into the blankets, this could truly be the beginning of something amazing. She knew with a certainty she usually only had with business she would soon be where she belonged. She no sooner closed her eyes than his face was there in front of her own, a smile found her face, and a deep healing sleep soon claimed her. Trish Nielson -- source link