Okay @arcticdementor,arcticdementor okay,Let’s get into this particular plot point.tl;dr - Thinking

Okay @arcticdementor,arcticdementor okay,Let’s get into this particular plot point.tl;dr - Thinking positively doesn’t equal ignoring reality(making a different post for this to leave poor lollibeepop alone, I do sincerely apologize for initially sparking this crazytrain)First off let me just say, I actually agree with you that truth is important. It’s good to be self aware about how your actions effect other people and the ethical ramifications of your decisions. A lot of pain in the world is caused by people doing harmful things to others and thinking it’s no big deal. But I’m gonna throw something wild at you here; Morality is Subjective. And I don’t mean that in a “do whatever the fuck you want dude nothing matters” sort of way, I mean that in a “there is no such thing as an objective Truth when it comes to human behavior and its moral value” sort of way.  If you have five people in a room there are going to be ten different opinions on good and evil, and I may be showing my Souless Atheist here, but there’s no grand judge out there saying which opinion is the Objective Correct Answer of the Universe.I like to judge the value of my own actions and the action of others on how much harm they cause other people, so for me and how I prefer to conceptualize things, it’s less am I doing something Good or Bad, and more am I doing something that hurts someone else? Who am I hurting? Why? Can I avoid it? Can I make up for it? And so on. Even the effectiveness of this system is up for debate. But now let’s cycle back to the original issue: is speaking positively towards yourself lying? If you do something that harms someone else and then you say to yourself “it’s okay, I’m not a bad person,” telling a lie? lemme posit a scenario. You’re at a friend’s house and you knock over a vase because you were running around and not looking where you were going, and it fell to the floor and broke. The objective facts of the situation, the Truth as you put oh so many times in bold big font, is that because of your carelessness something important to your friend was damaged. Cause and effect. You did a bad thing.One avenue of thought you could go down is immediately labeling yourself as Bad. I’m such an Asshole, I should never have come over, I make everything worse, why can’t I ever look where I’m going, I did a Bad thing because I’m Bad.And then you get more and more upset, anxious, scared and sad. You’re frozen in place, unable to do anything because you know you can’t do anything right. You can’t do anything about the broken vase, you have to punish yourself for your terrible actions first.Another possibility: You say to yourself “I broke my friend’s vase because I was being careless, but I am not a bad person because of it. I made a mistake. I am still capable of doing good things.” The first good thing you do is help to clean up the vase before anyone steps on the shards. You apologize to your friend without making them feel like they have to comfort you (which is exactly what would happen if you pair I’m Sorry with I’m a Piece of Shit). You ask them what you can do to make up for it, and listen to what they say. You will work on being more careful in the future, because you know that you’re not a fuckup and that you can improve. Now, instead of sobbing in the corner with a broken vase on the ground that someone else is gonna have to deal with, you have cleaned up the vase and are beginning the process of moving on.I want to make perfectly clear that this is not the morally superior thing to do, again morals are nebulous and finding yourself in scenario one doesn’t make you a bad person (that’s kind of the whole point). But getting to the point where you can do scenario two makes life so much easier. It feels better, it’s easier on yourself and the people around you, it makes things less of a battle and you can do the things you want to do much easier. And it’s not lying.Speaking positively to yourself is not about ignoring your actions and their consequences, it’s about putting fewer roadblocks in your way when it comes to handling it all. It makes growth easier, it makes progress easier, it makes owning up to your mistakes and helping to mend them easier. I know this from experience. I am not a bad person, and I am not a liar. I have fucked up, I will fuck up, I am capable of good as well and I will become even better as I go. There’s your Truth. -- source link

More pics about