missharpersworld: thedominantraven:I’m not a fan of Fetlife There. I said it. I find that to
missharpersworld: thedominantraven: I’m not a fan of Fetlife There. I said it. I find that too often “Doms” on Fetlife are little more than douchebags who want a woman to submit to them and not question them because heaven forbid the woman will learn that he has no damn clue what he’s doing in life, or the guy is just an abuser who wants to live out his abusive fantasies in a way that hopefully won’t get him arrested. Now, this is NOT to say, by any stretch, that there aren’t GOOD Doms and GOOD people on Fetlife. There are. But, there are lots of idiots that give us all a bad name. If you have ever, and I’m talking to you Doms out there, started a conversation with a woman you’ve just met by sending a dick pic, insisting she send you nudes, telling her to call you Sir or Master or Daddy or insisting she submit to you, GET THE FUCK OUT OF OUR SCENE. The rest of us are all tired of apologizing for your dumb asses. Further, YOU are a large part of the reason that there are “kink-shamers” to begin with that have had horrible experiences that have tainted their views on BDSM and Kink. If you do not know that your submissive, that your partner is not deserving of respect… FUCK OFF. If you think you are infallible because you are a “Dom”, well then, you’re NOT a Dom and you are flawed as fuck and you need to FUCK OFF. If you are a woman and/or a submissive and you accept this behavior or worse, encourage it, you are PART OF THE PROBLEM. Do not reward bad behavior, ever. WE, as a community, are responsible for policing and shepherding our own. If you are an experienced Dom, help the inexperienced Doms out there, mentor them properly. If you are an experienced sub, mentor lesser experienced submissives so that they know the power they truly hold. Above all, look out for one another. Anyone that is hurt or mistreated in our community is a reflection of our failure to protect that person and the best way to protect others is to identify abusers, to root them out and kick them out and if you know of abuse happening… involve the authorities and help the survivor. It is incumbent on all of us to take a stand against abuse and allow BDSM and kink to be the safe, sane and consensual environment it should be. ~R FOR ALL THE KINK SHAMERS WHO SAY WE DON’T POLICE OUR OWN COMMUNITY. -- source link