big-sugar: theropegeek: sapphicbunny:kinkyfemmequeer:theropegeek:missfreudianslit: I never wan
big-sugar: theropegeek: sapphicbunny: kinkyfemmequeer: theropegeek: missfreudianslit: I never want to hear about James Deen being misunderstood male talent again and I want people to stop ignoring all the bad things they hear about Owen Grey At the risk of introducing one more opinion into a world that already has too many, I’m going to state my belief that Yhivi’s statement above is not, by itself, grounds for blacklisting Owen Gray as a Creepy Predator or an Unsafe Player. Granted, I’ve never met the guy, I only have fragments of information, and for all I know he is totally creepy/shitty. My point is, I don’t know. What bothers me is that people are acting like they do. Here’s what we have: 1. They were in the middle of a sex and/or kink oriented shoot 2. Yhivi didn’t use any safewords/signals. 3. As soon as Owen sensed that something was off, he explicitly asked for consent. 4. He didn’t even wait for a No. As soon as he didn’t get an enthusiastic Yes, he stopped immediately. So at the least: based on what’s here, there’s no reason to believe that he was attempting to take advantage of a vulnerable person. The main indictment is that Yhivi feels “he should have known better,” because it was just that obvious that she was in dazed/confused state. I think it’s important to recognize that as a statement of opinion. To clarify: I believe that erring on the side of trusting accusers is crucial with regard to statements of fact. If someone says “I said no, but he kept going,” then barring evidence to the contrary, I believe that. But statements of opinion, like “we’d agreed to have sex that day, and i didn’t tell him to stop, but it was obviously a bad time,” or “he should have just known,” are a lot murkier to me. So while I’m open to the possibility that any reasonable person with all of the information would agree with Yhivi, my point is: I don’t know, and neither do you. OP alludes to other allegations against Owen Gray, but no references are cited, and my searching for such didn’t yield any results. I’ll admit that additional information could potentially change my opinion here very quickly. I also hope that Owen Gray learns from this experience by recognizing the potential risks of limited communication states, erring further on the side of caution, negotiating more thoroughly, checking-in more frequently, and simply making it a personal policy to -regardless of context- not summarily start going down on someone without first weaving in a question like “hey would you like if I went down on you?” It also helps to give your partners a chance to air their grievances about your failures, and potentially, to strive towards fearlessly embracing the brutally painful reality that one has fucked up. But, at least based exclusively on what’s above, I don’t think it’s reasonable to lump in Owen Gray with a serial rapist like James Deen. Overall, I don’t believe I have enough information to formulate much of an opinion one way or the other here. Further, I always find it really frustrating when other people who also don’t know enough to justify having an opinion, don’t let that stop them from doing so. -RG Bro did you just MANSPLAIN saying she should have used her safe words?! Whether she used her safewords or not, if yhivi was unresponsive or finding difficulty in responding, Owen IS a professional and shouldn’t have IGNORED her like she says he does. I never said she “should” have done anything. and Yhivi never said *how* she reacted. She said she was she was shook up and tense, but we have no idea how that looks/sounds for her. For all I know, Shook Up Yhivi is remarkably similar to Regular Yhivi. Or maybe not. But the point is, I can’t state an informed opinion about that, and in fact, very few people could. And Yhivi doesn’t say he “ignored” her when he going down on her; she’s talking about *afterwards* (probably, he avoided her because the experience felt awkward to him. hell, i’ve avoided people for *eternity* after social experiences way less awkward than that) Hey quick reminder that @theropegeek is trash. If I see ya reblogging rope geek that unfollow/block button is coming your way -- source link