(11/12) “When I went to high school in Atlanta we read this poem by Langston Hughes, A Dream D
(11/12) “When I went to high school in Atlanta we read this poem by Langston Hughes, A Dream Deferred. It’s about what happens when you have a dream, but you wait too long for it. Does it dry up, like a raisin in the sun? If you fight too hard for something, for too long, does it still have meaning when you get it? Or was the cost too great? For twenty years I’d been working nonstop. The pandemic was the first time I could do nothing, without feeling guilty. It was the first time I could sit and think. So much had happened to me since coming to America: the death of my sister, the death of my father, other things that I’m still not ready to talk about. I’d never taken the time to deal with any of it. All that stuff was still in there. I’m pretty sure I’d been depressed for years. By nature I’m a positive person. Growing up I was always smiling. And I held onto that nature for the longest time. You can’t lose by being good to people. That’s what I always believed. It’s what I saw from my father. It’s what I saw from my mother. And I was determined to hold onto that. Even after life hit me in every possible way. But when you start losing people you love, it’s different. Loss hits you differently. It’s not the loss. It’s the love. When you have love, and it’s taken away, it leaves holes. You look the same but you’re not the same. When I first came to America, I had so many reasons. So many reasons to fight. But our sister is gone. Our father is gone. Our mother may not have much time left. Does it even matter anymore? Does the dream still matter? Or did I fight too long for it? Is it all dried up? These were difficult questions to answer. I almost fell into a dark place. There were a lot of mornings I didn’t want to get out of bed. But Rahim wouldn’t let me. He decided we were going to start exercising during the pandemic. Every morning at 6 AM, he’d knock on my door. He’d get me out of bed. He’d take me to the park across the street from Yankee Stadium, and we’d run laps, and do exercises. I didn’t want to do any of it. But he kept coming back, every morning, asking if I was ready to go. I wanted to tell him no. But it’s hard to say no when it’s your brother.” -- source link
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