patrickdiomedes:inamindfarfaraway:gffa:Something to think about: There’s a good possibil
patrickdiomedes:inamindfarfaraway:gffa:Something to think about: There’s a good possibility that R2-D2 knows exactly who Darth Vader is. Bail never wiped his memories and Artoo went with Anakin to Mustafar, after Sidious had named him Darth Vader.And, upon recognizing that they can’t outfly him (another hint that Artoo might be very well aware of who he is), Artoo’s response is apparently: I AM GOING TO KILL MOTHERFUCKING DARTH VADER, JUST FUCKING WATCH ME.Like, shit, you it’s a bad break-up and you really fucked up when R2-D2 is gunning to kill you after everything you’d been through, ANAKIN. Vader: The droid is… turning his cannons on me? It hopes to defeat me in a battle of starships? It must have malfunctioning circuitry, no doubt a fault of the programmer who endowed it with its flying skill. This is the most remarkable droid I’ve ever -Vader: Vader: (frantically ceases fire and hacks the X-Wing’s comm frequency) R2-D2?!Artoo, in binary: BITCHVader, a sense of remorse he thought he’d never feel again ripped out of the black recess where his soul used to be: Artoo, I can explain. Artoo: YOU CAN’T AND YOU KNOW IT! YOU KILLED OBI-WAN, YOU BASTARD! Vader, attempting to squirm in a humanoid iron maiden and being even more uncomfortable for it: I know, but… he put me in this suit -Artoo: You put yourself in the fucking suit! I was there, remember? Or did you forget me like you’ve forgotten everything else that mattered to you?! I was there when you strangled your pregnant wife! And I was also there when you said to your vows to her. I saw her face. She loved you. Vader, burning alive once again: I know.Artoo: You loved her, too. Artoo: You backstabbing, heartless pile of rotting, stinking, maggot-filled banthashit stuffed into a suit! You cowardly, arrogant, selfish, thoughtless son of a bitch! That’s right! I insulted your mother! What are you gonna do about it, murder some more innocent children? Anakin, dragged violently back to the light and supremely unhappy about everything but ready to make a well-intentioned and incredibly dangerous decision on the spur of the moment: I’m going to kill the Emperor. Artoo: You… what? Anakin: Emperor Palpatine, Darth Sidious. Darth Shitteous, as I’ve taken to calling him in my head. I’m going to kill him. Artoo: (contemplative pause) Not unless I get to watch. Who am I kidding, you’ll probably just die without me. I take back what I said about your mother, by the way; she was a good person, you became a bitch all on your own. Bitch. Anakin: I know. Artoo: From now on, I shall call you Darth Bitch, sometimes Lord Bitch, or simply plain Bitch. Nothing else.Anakin: Understandable. Artoo: Darth Shitteous is nice though. C-3PO, questioning if droids can be influenced by mind-altering substances, suffer strokes or if he’s been permanently deactivated and droids can in fact enter one of the realms or conditions of absolute suffering and torture after death featured in many cultures’ belief systems: Excuse me… Master Skywalker?Anakin, who already knows he’s in hell and is surprised to find himself still capable of experiencing surprise at this point: C-3PO?Have you been there this whole time? #artoo: (knowing fully well it is) would now be a bad time to tell you luke and leia are your twin kids? #vader: mY tWiN WhaT #artoo: they don’t know either. wanna tell them?#vader: why didn’t you tell them?#artoo: surprise they probably don’t wanna be related to the worst person - second worst person in all of existence#vader: i tortured leia! i let tarkin kill her planet! i killed luke’s mentor in front of him#artoo: obi-wan hid luke on tatooine to keep him safe from the empire because it was the one place you’d never go.#one more kid had to grow up on fucking tatooine because of you#vader: FUCKING TATOOINE#I THOUGHT I COULDN’T HATE MYSELF ANY MORE AND I WAS GRIEVOUSLY WRONG#artoo: good(Tags via @inamindfarfaraway ) -- source link