boringangel: these are 6 photos spanning from 2015 to 2018i was diagnosed with severe crohn’
boringangel: these are 6 photos spanning from 2015 to 2018 i was diagnosed with severe crohn’s disease in 2015; i felt as though i had no one to turn to & no one to look up to. i felt like my illness was taboo because i couldn’t find anyone talking about it. chronic illness is incredibly isolating. in early 2017, i was diagnosed with inflammatory arthritis in my hands knees & feet. this was triggered by my crohn’s disease; oftentimes, inflammatory illnesses like crohn’s trigger other similar inflammatory illnesses like arthritis. i had to give up on my dream of being a violinist; had to take a semester off because i was too physically weak to make it through the fall 2017 term. now, i’m back at school & i am still unable to believe i’m here. things are very different, but they are also very much the same. things have been ripped from me, like my instrument, my health, & many other things. BUT! today, i am happy. i am at peace. oftentimes, i am in pain, but that doesn’t change the fact that i am happy. i am at peace with myself; at peace with my identity as a chronically ill lesbian. that took me so long to accept, but i accepted myself, & i have been a better person since i started slowly coming to terms with my mind & body. in the first two photos, i look very sad & uncomfortable. both were during IV infusions of medication. in the second two, i’m in doctor’s offices. i look uncomfortable, angry, & depressed - because i was. i tried to keep up a good face, but i was in an incredibly angry dark headspace. in the last two photos, i just had woken up from anesthesia. i had been worried that i’d be intubated, because my heart isn’t the greatest after unhealthy weight loss & bad side effects of medication. maybe it was irrational, but i was very frightened to “go under” that time i woke up, & i remember thinking how happy i was to exist. i look at my face here & i see someone who is finally at peace with herself. i look calm & content even with oxygen tubes in my nose. it’s not always calm & contentment, of course, but i feel those two emotions much more frequently than i ever would have thought possible. i had almost no people or organizations to turn to when first diagnosed, which is why i started talking about my illness - but i DO want to shout out @hospitalglam thank you for sharing photos of incredible chronically ill people across the world. it encouraged me to send in my own, & encouraged me to speak out for myself & others love, a much happier sofia -- source link
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