lockoutkey:lividlovers:jozdreaming: clover11-10:anarchistmemecollective: autumn-in-ganym3de: funerea
lockoutkey:lividlovers:jozdreaming: clover11-10:anarchistmemecollective: autumn-in-ganym3de: funereal-disease: star-anise: jazzisback: sauvamente: Okay but how is this our problem? What’s the context? Thank you, like what does this have to do with me? I’m supposed to be considerate of what here, a lack of socialization? Understand that this is a public health issue. Understand that it’s society’s job to step in when parents fail. Every time something is supposed to be “their parents’ job,” these kids don’t get it. Understand that kids like this miss a critical early learning period for social connections and are going to be playing catch-up for the rest of their lives. Understand that this is overwhelmingly caused by poverty, crime, racism, mental health problems, poor housing, mass incarceration, bad work conditions, and the breakdown of the extended family. A lot of parents would be better if all their time, attention, coping and physical presence weren’t eaten up by trying to do too much with too few resources. Understand that this is why we need strong public schools, free after-school programs, early mental health intervention, Home Ec in highschools. It’s why we need a higher minimum wage and cheaper housing. It’s why we need laws that make sense when it comes to who to throw in jail and who to set free. Understand that a neglectful or abusive childhood is linked to later health problems like heart disease, diabetes, weight problems, autoimmune diseases, and cancer. It’s also a leading cause of mental health issues and addiction. We have to accept that people who have these problems weren’t in control of the circumstances that made them vulnerable, and they can’t be shamed or punished into no longer having them. And yeah, we need to give adults with neglectful childhoods more understanding, more acceptance, more time, and more resources to make up for what they missed out on. One thing this looks like in practice is destigmatizing adults learning “basic” tasks for the first time. Dismissing people who never learned how to cook or clean as “lazy manbabies” doesn’t actually help them start learning those things! Yeah, I started cooking at a “late” age because my parents never taught me. When asked why they didn’t, their response? “Oh, well you never seemed interested.”No shit?! I was a kid? Of course I wasn’t interested!! I wasn’t interested in any “adult” task! But cooking is an essential fucking skill for survival! It’s not like picking between piano lessons or karate or whatever, I NEED TO COOK FOOD TO LIVEAnd my parents were great parents! They didnt neglect or abuse me or anything, they just like…did not think that one through i don’t know how to tell you that you should care about other people Same with teaching how to write an envelope, hownto pay taxes, basic car maintenance, writing a checkI frequently have to google these “basic” skills because my parents couldn’t be assed to sit down and teach me despite having adhd This makes me feel safe I grew up in poverty with parents who were either fighting over finances, busy all time with work , strict that I couldn’t be myself, didn’t want me going anywhere outside that I was used to staying indoors and not learning how to socialize, and always expecting me to know something when I was never taught to begin with. So, to have spaces where adults can grow with calm guidance is amazing. I’m still trying to learn how to care for my inner & outer needs and recompensate everything I never got to do as a kid. My parents were both emotionally unavailable, so I had to learn to handle emotions on my own . This whole post is a blessing in disguise. It’s a safe space and a call to action.Often times we’re taught to ridicule others or put them down because we may know more than they so about a thing or two… but that’s more harmful than it could ever be helpful. No one is saying you have to lay your life down on the line to teach every person you encounter, but there is a lesson in compassion that needs to be acknowledged and accepted. Age doesn’t magically equate to maturity and having access/privilege to certain skills doesn’t make you better than anyone else. Be a resource, not a reason for remorse As a now adult who had to figure out EVERYTHING in this thread myself please if anyone needs help figuring out how to pay taxes or cook food or use a credit card I Will Help -- source link