theauspolchronicles:Top secret government documents were found in a filing cabinet being sold at a s
theauspolchronicles:Top secret government documents were found in a filing cabinet being sold at a second hand shop.The ABC has obtained hundreds of secret cabinet documents in a cabinet, in what no one is labelling Cabinet-cabinet-gate as that is a terrible idea but not as terrible an idea as putting a cabinet full of top secret government files up for sale so suck it.“It’s a bit embarrassing that all a foreign spy needed to do to obtain top secret government documents is to hang around an op-shop and wait until someone too lazy to clean out a filing cabinet dumped some high level shit right into the donation bit. Before we know it someone’s grandma volunteering at the Salvos will be selling secrets to the Russians to supplement her shitty pension,” said a frustrated government official.This has happened less than a year after Dylan Voller’s confidential files were discovered in a cabinet up for sale.“Apparently we need to have some kind of education campaign about how cabinets work,” the frustrated government official continued. “This is some basic object permanence level shit you know? The file still exists once you put it inside the cabinet. The cabinet isn’t a portal to a mysterious otherworld that nothing can come back from - although that is the premise of my unfinished YA novel I’ve been working on for the past few years now about a plucky yet overlooked government official escapes his boring office job when one day he climbs inside a cabinet to cry and discovers a mysterious new world of wonder and magic…” He paused for a moment to reflect on how the years were passing him by and yet he still hadn’t finished it… A single tear rolled down his face. Maybe his wife was right and he should give up on the idea. Suddenly he remembered where he was and cleared his throat.“And, ahem, um… and we need to remember to check cabinets before putting them up for sale. Especially the cabinets designated for government secrets in the secrets room labelled government secrets.” He let out an inhumanly long sigh then screeched “HOW HARD COULD IT POSSIBLY BE?” -- source link