featherymalignancy:Like A Lonely House: A Nessian Story of Betrayal and Redemption
featherymalignancy:Like A Lonely House: A Nessian Story of Betrayal and Redemption “so I wait for you like a lonely house till you will see me again and live in me. Till then my windows ache.” -Pablo NerudaSynopsis: Fifty years after the Hybernian War, Prythian has settled into a sleepy peace, and nowhere is this peace more evident than in the Night Court. Feyre and Rhysand continue to rule like demigods from their seat of power in Velaris, Elain and Azriel are newly married and quietly expecting their first child, and Mor has moved to Winter to be with her mate, Ellaria, sister of the newly-minted High Lady. Nesta and Cassian have changed as well, and after fifty years of barbed words and heated glances, they stand on a precipice of something that scares and excites them both. However, it only takes one night of weakness on Cassian’s part to change everything, and with a young Illyrian prince gaining power in the North, Nesta agrees to an marriage alliance, both to protect her family and get her as far away from Cassian as possible. As things unravel between them, Cassian begins to suspect there is something more deliberate seeking to keep them apart, and he struggles to uncover the truth and win Nesta back before it’s too late.Previously on Like A Lonely House…“I’m such a fool,” Nesta whispered, voice venomous even through all the wine. Others had always been quick to point out how cruel Nesta could be, but Elain wasn’t sure anyone but her realized the person Nesta had always been cruelest to was herself. “Such a stupid, miserable fool for every trusting him. I hate him.“Elain bit her lip, forcing herself not to cry as well. “He is the foolish one, for having someone like you and throwing it away for nothing. And I don’t blame you for hating him.”“I do hate him,” Nesta repeated blearily. “But no more than I hate myself. I feel so stupid, so worthless—“She buried her head between her knees and let out a screamed sob. It was a wild sound, a keen of agony and rage, and it had Elain’s own animal instinct flaring, roaring at her to punish this male who had so abused her sister. Nesta might have seemed cold and unfeeling to others, but Elain knew the truth: deep down, she had a heart that was big and tender, and when it was wounded, it bled with a ferocity vicious enough to destroy her. It was why Nesta had honed herself into such a harsh weapon; to defend the tenderness that lay beneath all the steel.“You’re not worthless,” Elain assured Nesta as she pushed her forehead to Nesta’s. “You are everything to those who love you.”“But not to him,” Nesta croaked, almost to herself. “He made me think that he did, but he’s a liar.” She sniffled before sobbing again, tears spilling down her cheek. “What did I do? Why doesn’t he lov—”Nesta broke off and yet another sob, and Elain found herself struggling for words.Part IIICassian woke three days later at a dreary Illyrian outpost at the base of Şeytanin Pass, feeling no better than he had when he’d first left Velaris. He still had a pounding headache and stiff limbs, as if the drinking sickness was still fresh. However, the physical discomfort paled in comparison to the dread knot that formed in his stomach every time he thought about Nesta.Cassian had flown straight to the camp after Azriel had informed him that Elain had indeed found Nesta and brought her somewhere safe. He’d been tempted at the time to demand to know where, evening knowing Az would never tell him. Even after nearly a quarter of a century of acclimating to Azriel and Elain’s courtship and eight months after they’d been wed, Cassian still found himself adjusting to the sensation of sharing Azriel’s undying loyalty with someone else. It admittedly chafed at times—never more so than now—but he knew not to push. Elain and Azriel might not have been mates, but they shared a bond that was equally as strong, and Cassian would never be so selfish as to put strain on that union knowing what it meant to his brother after so many centuries of self-isolation.Besides, he hardly thought it mattered; Nesta had made it clear enough that night she had no desire to see him, and if he was being honest with himself, he couldn’t say he blamed her. Whatever walls he’d coaxed her to take down since the war had already been rebuilt, and he could foresee no avenue through which he could breach them a second time.The thought pained Cassian, his heart seeming to wither like a necrotic limb after a snakebite. He could still hear Nesta’s barbarous taunts in his head, as if they were a siren song he couldn’t seem to stop following, even knowing they were only drawing him closer to a horrible fate. Did you really think someone like me could ever truly want someone like you? Keep readingIs this what death feels like? I think so, it hurts just the same… -- source link
#nessian angst#like angst#real angst