shittylittleweirdo: boop-le-snoot:batsomerandomperson:senlinyu: matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll:regul
shittylittleweirdo: boop-le-snoot:batsomerandomperson:senlinyu: matt-the-blind-cinnamon-roll: regularlyerratic: zaubermauz: haveabiscxitpotter: our-hideout-world: “”EXPECTO PATRONUM!” Harry yelled. Nothing happened. Harry gripped his dick tighter and shook it up and down until a thick, whispy white substance protruded from the end of it.” “Panting, Harry fell forwards over the hydrangea bush, straightened up and stared around. There were several faces peering through various nearby windows. Harry stuffed his dick hastily back into his jeans and tried to look innocent.” “He had not been this close to Malfoy since he had watched him muttering to Crabbe and Goyle during Dumbledore’s speech about Cedric. He could feel a kind of ringing in his ears. His hand gripped his dick under his robes” LOL dark-blueeeee “My dick.” Said Ron. “Look at my dick.” It had snapped, almost in two, and the tip was dangling limply, held on by only a few spare splinters. “No volunteers?” said Voldemort. “Let’s see … Lucius, I see no reason for you to have a dick anymore.” Lucius Malfoy looked up. His skin appeared yellowish and waxy in the firelight, and his eyes were sunken and shadowed. When he spoke, his voice was hoarse. “My Lord?” “Your dick, Lucius. I require your dick.” “I …” Malfoy glanced sideways at his wife. She was staring straight ahead, quite as pale as he was, her long blonde hair hanging down her back, but beneath the table her slim fingers closed briefly on his wrist. At her touch, Malfoy put his hand into his robes, withdrew a dick, and passed it along to Voldemort, who held it up in front of his red eyes, examining it closely. He drew out his own dick and compared the lengths. Lucius Malfoy made an involuntary movement. “His right hand hovered over the pocket in hisworn out faded jeans where his dick lay hidden, but within easy grasp. His fist was unconsciouslyclenching and unclenching. Most people would have found the misty cool night air soothing,pleasant, but Harry was on edge.” I am an actual 9 year old. I’m crylaughing. “Hello,” said the boy, “Hogwarts, too?” “Yes,” said Harry. “My father’s next door buying my books and Mother’s up the street looking at dicks,” said the boy “Haven’t I told you he’s not going?” he hissed. “He’s going to Stonewall High and he’ll be grateful for it. I’ve read those letters and he needs all sorts of rubbish — spell books and dicks and —” “Why aren’t you supposed to do magic?” asked Harry. “Oh, well — I was at Hogwarts meself but I — er — got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me dick in half an’ everything. But Dumbledore let me stay on as gamekeeper. Great man, Dumbledore.” “Why were you expelled?” “It’s gettin’ late and we’ve got lots ter do tomorrow,” said Hagrid loudly. Hagrid was so huge that he parted the crowd easily; all Harry had to do was keep close behind him. They passed book shops and music stores, hamburger restaurants and cinemas, but nowhere that looked as if it could sell you a magic dick. and the best yet… “Don’ mention it,” said Hagrid gruffly. “Don’ expect you’ve had a lotta presents from them Dursleys. Just Ollivanders left now — only place fer dicks, Ollivanders, and yeh gotta have the best dick.” A magic dick … this was what Harry had been really looking forward to. The last shop was narrow and shabby. Peeling gold letters over the door read Ollivanders: Makers of Fine Wands since 382 B.C. A single dick lay on a faded purple cushion in the dusty window. -- source link