Hazel Gwen, You are one month old today. Actually, if we’re being exact, you are 32 days old.
Hazel Gwen, You are one month old today. Actually, if we’re being exact, you are 32 days old. For most, this is not a significant amount of time, and yet, being your mother for the last four weeks is in fact the most significant thing I’ve done with my life. People warned me the time would fly by. And it has. And it hasn’t. There are days when it feels like an ice age. Like trying to crawl up Mount Everest, backwards, in the thick of winter, without shoes. But then I blink and there’s a new roll in your exquisitely chunky thighs. When did that show up? How did I miss it? And so I quickly scan your body, holding you up to my mouth so that I might feast on you as I inspect your fingers, your toes, your tasty belly, and that sneaky space between the base of your skull and your shoulders. I could live in there … Oh yes, I could be very happy living out the rest of my days in the crevice where your chubby cheek meets the silk of your skin. Or perhaps in the steel of your eyes, not quite focused yet, but seeing, for the first time, the depths of my love for you. You are growing, my beauty, so fast, right before my very eyes; and even, damn it, not before my eyes. My daughter, in this short, significant amount of time you have crippled me. I say cripple because I am limp with inconceivable love and utter exhaustion. You have wrecked me. You have pushed me beyond my comfortable perimeters, forced me to Show Up to every doubt and insecurity I have, to acknowledge, despite all my effort, that I am not in control. I am just a girl, loving her baby, floating on my back down the river that Jesus Christ’s grace. To honor this day, I chose the picture that best represents who you are - in this moment. You are not the mellow baby I dreamt you might be. Heavens, no. You are you. Fussy, fidgety, prone to excessive squawking. You are exactly perfect. I will love you always, my darling Pickle. Yours, Momma . . Darling cap courtesy of @corrinasshop -- source link
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