jockedguy: You scroll through Tumblr every day and masturbate. Don’t deny it. Mayb
jockedguy: You scroll through Tumblr every day and masturbate. Don’t deny it. Maybe after you’ve masturbated to conclusion, you shut Tumblr and you go back to your junk food, your video games, your books, your friends, a coffeeshop where you talk smart about smart things. But later in the day, it comes back, maybe sometime in the afternoon, when you’re alone and have a little time to kill. You open up Tumblr and you scroll through and you masturbate, maybe just a little at first, maybe you don’t even take off your jeans, but eventually you do, then you shut Tumblr and go back to your life. Lately, the time between has become shorter. You don’t even notice it but suddenly that urge is back, nagging at you. Maybe it’s because you keep noticing guys out there in the world, guys like you see on Tumblr, out in the world. They’re everywhere, it seems like. Yesterday you had this thought: maybe Tumblr is invading the world, huhuhuh, and you realized that’s the same laugh that the guys on Tumblr have. Well, in your head, anyway. Are you getting dumber? That’s hot, but it’s also worrisome, isn’t it. I mean, do you really want, I mean, truly, want, to become dumber? No, of course not. Nobody actually wants that. But this isn’t like in the stories, bro. I can tell you. It’s like a relaxing. You know? It’s like, your shoulders untense, maybe for the first time in a really long time, and with them, your lungs sort of expand on their own, filling to capacity, and then deflate, maybe even more relaxed than they have in a really long time. The arms sort of follow suit, it’s this whole upper-body chest thing, and it’s almost like it pulls your eyelids down like a pair of shades at the same time. That’s how I’ve been going to sleep lately. Head filled up with thoughts of health: my bike, the gym, my Under Armour socks and sneakers. I’ve peeled away shame from fetish and discovered a new reality underneath. I truly can change, become who I want to become. It’s a simplifying, literally. I am focused on a goal, and that goal doesn’t really have a name, but it’s a goal nonetheless, and I seem to continue to be taking steps in its direction, perhaps unaware even of why or how it is happening, simply aware of the fact that it is, in fact, happening, and bro? It could happen to you, too, I think. Just have to do it. Nike’s right. Just do it. Nothing else. It’s kinda Zen when you think about it, huhuhuh. Gotta block everything else out, even how fucking hot it is that you’re doing it, and just do it. I don’t know if I’ll ever get to the point where I’m standing in my workout gear holding an open book wondering how I got there and why I’m not at the gym and what the fuck do all these words mean, but maybe. If I allow for the possibility, the possibility could happen. And then I’ll just be this dumbass standing there in the library, holding an open book that has nothing to do with sports or sports or working out or what the fuck am i doing here, and I bet I’ll have this huge fucking grin on my face, I’ll shut the book or maybe drop it and fucking walk out of the library. That’ll all happen after, if it does happen, I think. After the gym, and the selfies, and the gear. After the smoothies, the bike, the games, and the routine. A slow unknitting, maybe, and then reknitting, establishing a new pattern for a new life. Turns out all those gymspiration quotes you read are true. You make your own decisions, you shape your own destiny. Huhuhuh, see those on shirts all the time. Now it’ll be OK to wear one, cuz I actually believe its true. Okay bro. I gotta get some fuckin eggs in me and hit the shower and bike up to the gym. Remember, today is the first day of the rest of your life, every day. Figure it out. -- source link