Hold Onto Me: Chapter 4Pairing: WS!Bucky x Reader (musician)Rating: Teen for now, Explicit laterTags

Hold Onto Me: Chapter 4Pairing: WS!Bucky x Reader (musician)Rating: Teen for now, Explicit laterTags/Warnings: canon-typical violence, canon-divergent, angst, fluff, music soothes the soul y’all, so many other tags to comeSummary:  You happen to get caught in the Winter Soldier’s attack one day, but you don’t expect to ever see him again. You definitely don’t expect him to show up at your home, bleeding. You definitely, definitely don’t expect to want to go on the run with him.♬ ♪ ♫You pick me up when I feel downNo matter how deep in the nightI got your back when we go outYou know I’m always on your sideWe don’t need money to feel good‘Cause you’re the ridе or die, the rest of my lifеDon’t need a party to feel highWe’re like the modern version of Bonnie and Clyde♬ ♪ ♫You pull your baseball cap lower, even though they’re not looking for you, and you stay close to Bucky’s side at all times. Bucky had insisted on that, for safety, unless they were made - then he ordered you to run. (“I’m not leaving you!”“I’ll find you. I promise.”)Your first stop was Australia, and you spend most of the ship ride asleep on Bucky’s shoulder. It turns out Bucky had retrieved his only belongings (his dog tags) and what he thought he needed from HYDRA (money and weapons). It was a lot of money to be carrying around. While it was obvious from your accents that you weren’t from around there, the country was welcoming to tourists. In fact, you’d met a ton of people just packing up from their summer vacation or here temporarily. Bucky doesn’t stop looking over his shoulder, doubting himself already. HYDRA has agents everywhere. So does SHIELD. Why did I bring her into this?!The heart of the city feels a bit too crowded so you both make your way eastward and southward, jumping between motels, until the noise is no longer constant and Bucky can sort of breathe. The apartment you snagged in New South Wales was for one month and already furnished, so you tried to get Bucky to relax. He taped newspapers up on the windows. You don’t call him crazy or paranoid, just took the tape roll from him and ripped the pieces, handing home each one so he could focus on the paper. It made him feel safer, that’s what mattered. You catch him pacing a few times, patrolling, eyes always flickering here and there when his enhanced hearing picks up on something. He doesn’t speak, not really. You’re not sure he spoke at all the first day but sometimes you get to ask him questions and he answers. Short, but still. You work on it. You write in your notebook, like a journal, to catalogue the events of your travels. Technically you were aiding a fugitive and not on a vacation by any means, but it didn’t feel that way to you sometimes. You catch Bucky watching you sometimes, and think, maybe it’d be nice to have him write his thoughts down as well, especially when he tries to open up to you, but shuts down. You don’t pry, because you know he’s trying. Gently, you tell him some of the files were leaked online, but you don’t say what because he doesn’t ask. You suspect that SHIELD had been infiltrated long, long ago - how else would they know exactly how to thaw out Captain America would? Bucky seems to think about this for a while.You decide to get a Polaroid camera, nothing digital as per Bucky’s instructions, and also find a notebook for Bucky. You take a picture of the beachside to tape it into your journal cover, and pick up a newspaper like Bucky asked. Bucky is sitting on the couch, which he’d arranged to have against the wall. “I got something for you,” you said as you rummage through your bag for his notebook. “I thought maybe you could use it to write your thoughts down, help organize things for you. I know sometimes you don’t feel comfortable enough telling me everything and that’s okay. But this could maybe help you get some of it off your chest?”He looks between the notebook and you, face softens a little.“Thank you,” he says before pulling you into his lap and there’s no resistance from you at all. He spends a few moments with his ear pressed to your chest, and you let him hear how your heart beats for him. He finally does settle, somewhat, and it becomes so domestic, so quickly. Since you weren’t the one they were looking for, you did all the shopping, though you tried to get at least 4-5 days worth at a time so you didn’t have to leave too much. When you came home, Bucky would help you put the groceries away, and he’d read the paper you picked up so he could be up to date with world affairs and you’d both prepare dinner together. His skills with a knife were indisputable, and somehow translated into chopping vegetables perfectly. He’s now got a bit of a beard going, and while you miss that defined jaw of his, you have to admit it works well for his cover. At least he’s good about trimming it regularly. At night, he would go on a (very) long run, to burn his excess energy and keep in shape, and when he came back, shirt sticking to his chest with sweat and breathing heavy, you did your best not to get yearn for something he wasn’t looking for. When he did his millions of sit-ups and push-ups, you would journal or do puzzles to stop yourself from staring.On your shopping days you’d head to the library and borrow a few books to bring home, split the pile with Bucky and then swap once you two were done. Sometimes Bucky would journal and get the “furrowed brow concentration” look at it was always best to leave him alone during those times. You’d think that being confined indoors would result in the days dragging by, but honestly each day felt new to you, and they began to blur together, speeding by. You explored recipes together, learned card games together and spent a lot of time reading. One day, you’re up making breakfast, your hair still damp from your morning shower. Neither of you ever shower without the other awake, on guard. Bucky is lounging on the couch with the TV playing something softly in the background which it often does since he’s still having a hard time casually conversing, making it too quiet. Bucky does okay with some foods now, which you were ecstatic about, even if it was just yogurt and pudding. He was getting better with bread, plain, but one day you’d get peanut butter on there. He went through a ton of these foods after discovering that he could stomach it. Today, you’d try plain scrambled eggs - if he doesn’t eat them or doesn’t like them, you’d just finish them up. You pull out the eggs, milk, and get the bread ready for the toaster. As the eggs sizzle on the pan, you tell Bucky what you’re making, asking if he wants to try some today. As soon as you turn away from the toaster, Bucky surprises you by standing in the centre of the kitchen.“Jesus!” You curse, but laugh at your own silliness. Nobody would make it one step into the apartment, if Bucky didn’t want them to. Of course it wouldn’t be anyone else. He watches you work in silence. You plate the breakfast but catch your arm on the pan and you let out a hiss of pain. A set of strong, warm hands take the pan and spatula from you and gently nudge you away. The toaster pops and he takes care of that too.The scrambled eggs are a success, and he gets an entire tub of yogurt as a treat. The morning’s success keeps you happy for hours - you were so proud of him! He was always skeptical but never stopped trying. Soon, you were sure you could get him eating whatever he wanted. As you lazily fill out your sudoku, you begin to hum without realizing. Too concentrated on your puzzle, you don’t register that the TV has been turned off. It takes a few moments but you finally look up at the blank TV and then turn to Bucky, who’d been sitting on the floor in front of the couch that you were lying on. “What’s that song?” He asks. “Oh,” you blink up at him. You hadn’t given it much thought until he asked. “Well, it’s not exactly a happy song, it’s just something I learned a while ago.”“Sing for me?” His voice is so soft that you couldn’t deny him. You sit yourself up and take a moment to remember the words. It feels weird to do this without your guitar, without the chords to guide you. “It’s you, it’s always youIf I’m ever gonna fall in love, I know it’s gon’ be you, it’s you, it’s always youMet a lot of people, but nobody feels like youSo please don’t break my heart, don’t tear me apartI know how it starts, trust me I’ve been broken beforeDon’t break me again, I am delicate, please don’t break my heartTrust me I’ve been broken before, I’ve been broken, yeahI know how it feels, to be open, and then find out your love isn’t realI’m still hurting, yeah, I’m hurting insideI’m so scared to fall in love, but if it’s you then I’ll try, it’s you”You don’t finish the song, even though you’re close, because you can feel your voice crack. It’s not that you’re crying, but it’s a near thing. The first time you played this song you had been a mess, fresh out of a relationship where he’d been cheating on you for over three months. It was still raw. “Not broken,” he murmurs faintly. He’d turned so that he was facing you, his sapphire eyes looking up at you with concern with his hands on your legs that are crossed on the couch. It startles a bitter laugh out of you. “Aren’t I?” You ask rhetorically. You blink a few times, and sniffle. “Not broken,” he repeats, his hands travel up to your waist to pull you closer, and he nudges himself into your hold against your chest. You can’t help but run your hands through his hair, just as he’d done to you. It’s the exact position you’d been in back when you first learned what they were doing to Bucky - when you’d sobbed against his chest telling him he deserved better. You were not better. But you let yourself be soothed because you couldn’t remember the last time you’d wanted so badly. Since you’re already feeling greedy, you tilt his head towards yours and lower your lips until they taste nirvana, and you let Bucky climb up on the couch between your legs. Holding you closer, he slowly rolls so you end up on top of him but doesn’t let go. You drift off into an afternoon nap like that, curled up on his chest like a kitten. << PREVIOUS CHAPTER | Series Masterpost | Overall Masterpost | Join Taglist Tag List: @anonnygon @thefallenbibliophilequote @harrietbaudelaire @granpafrisbee @fanatic434 @shawnie–jo @pastel-boy-sungjae @just-another-romantic @i-just-like-marvel @carmellasworld @itsdawnashlie @chaoticfreaksoulranch @fanngirl19 @stucky-my-ship @jackiehollanderr @granpafrisbee @aboukie @babebr @majo240820 @marvel-3407 @shafverani @w0nderw0mansw0rld @sharanyasrivastava @yeoldedumbslut @vivian-barnes @mussutheoctopus @pineprincess @sarcasticnovah @aquariusbarnes @writing-for-marvel @leyannrae @lunarbuck-jpeg @yourlocalantivillain @ohtobehappy @comfortincharacters @goldylions @moonlightreader649 @awaywithtime @buckybarnesau @thewackywriter @f-this42 @moviequeen51 @angryknightstatesmantrash @rookthorne -- source link

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