accioleesi: imperfection // a fault, blemish, or undesirable feature. synonyms: defect, fault, flaw,
accioleesi: imperfection // a fault, blemish, or undesirable feature. synonyms: defect, fault, flaw, deformity, discoloration, disfigurement, beauty, humanity, empathy I have been struggling with my own self-image for a very long time. I have been too harsh on my body, mind, and soul. I have forgotten how to look at myself in the mirror and see beauty. lately, I feel as if I don’t know how I’m actually existing. there are moments where I can feel just a sliver of who I would like to be, but those moments are fleeting and are practically nonexistent. I do my best to uplift others with my almost aggressive positivity and sometimes I feel like maybe softness is what I lack. I feel what seems to be too much empathy for others and sometimes I am almost dazed and confused by the utter madness I feel when I empathize with those who have hurt me. I am easily impassioned by those who are abused or lost, but I feel guilty that I constantly rip myself from reality because for a moment I am there for those I care about and then the next I am just a shell, unwilling to interact because I let my nightmares eat me alive. I have irrational fears that force me to push others away and I sometimes forget what it’s like to feel attracted to people. I used to think my sexuality defined who I was, but recently, I don’t feel in touch with the parts of me that made me feel alive. I just feel like a drawing with no edges to keep me inside my own body, and maybe that’s what I’m searching for. hard and soft lines to protect me from what’s coming. I want to help others learn to love themselves and guide them through feeling lost and worthless into a lasting mode of self-love. I want to help others see that words such as beauty, sexuality, and abuse won’t define who they will become. But first, I must work and strive toward understanding my own imperfections so that I’ll be able to weave together what I should be proud of. -- source link