heuheu-art:“So you really don’t like Mianmian?” Cloud Recesses had burned. Hi
heuheu-art:“So you really don’t like Mianmian?” Cloud Recesses had burned. His sect was in danger, his brother was missing, and war was looming. Lan Wangji was tired, he was in pain, and the boy he perhaps loved was sitting far too close (and yet not close enough). They could die there. They could be killed by the Xuanwu, or they could starve to death, or Lan Wangji’s leg could even become infected and fester. What a heroic end that would be.He wondered … If this was the end for them, could he tell Wei Ying? Perhaps he could bear the consequences of doing so if he wasn’t long for this world. Lan Wangji certainly wasn’t ungifted when it came to words, but sitting there in that cave next to the boy he probably did love, he found that there were no words he could offer to Wei Ying. As soon as he tried searching for something, anything, to say, every word he knew disappeared. It felt like trying to catch motes of dust floating in a sunbeam, each one swirling out of reach as his hands disturbed the air.Perhaps there was nothing he could say to truly capture the way he felt about Wei Ying. Perhaps he wasn’t as gifted with words as he had thought, perhaps he just didn’t understand his own heart well enough to find the words to describe it.He had no idea how to convey what he wanted to Wei Ying, he barely even knew what he wanted to convey, so he abandoned the attempt. Instead, in a terrible, terrible move, he swiftly leaned forwards and pressed his mouth to Wei Ying’s. His aim hadn’t been perfect, and the kiss was somewhat off center, not that it could really be called a kiss, because Wei Ying jerked away from him a second later.“Lan Zhan,” he whispered, shaken, eyes wide.His voice sounded so much smaller than it should. Lan Wangji’s face was burning with shame, his leg was burning with pain, and all he wanted was to leave, to get away, to hide, but he couldn’t because of his leg.“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying said again, his voice a little stronger this time.He stretched his hand out towards Lan Wangji’s face. It hovered there for a few moments, hesitant and unsure, before landing, softly cupping his cheek. Wei Ying leaned in, just slightly, then paused. Lan Wangji’s throat constricted, clogged with all the words he couldn’t say. His heart was hammering at his ribcage, begging to be free so it could fling itself into Wei Ying’s hands. He dared not move, not trusting himself to not make a mistake. This might not be what he thinks it is, it might not be consent. He had already messed up once, he couldn’t take any chances this -And then Wei Ying’s mouth was on his once more. Lan Wangji had barely processed what had happened before Wei Ying moved away. He leaned forward, chasing after him for just a fraction of a second before stopping himself.“Wei Ying,” he said, his voice betraying far too much of what he felt.Wei Ying just leaned in once more. The kiss lasted longer this time, and Lan Wangji came to the sudden realisation that, despite all his fantasizing, he actually didn’t really know what to do. Wei Ying’s eyes were closed, so he closed his too. Kissing felt awkward, they both were just pressing their mouths together, should they be doing anything else? Should he move his hands? He settled for moving one hand to the back of Wei Ying’s neck. Wei Ying sighed into the kiss, which sent a thrill down Lan Wangji’s spine, and he angled his head to the side, pressing closer to him. Lan Wangji shifted closer too and his knee knocked into Wei Ying’s.Lan Wangji jerked backwards, hissing in pain at the jolt of pain that shot through his leg. Wei Ying exclaimed in concern and immediately scooted backwards, leaving Lan Wangji to miss his warmth. Wei Ying fluttered his hands over his injury, unsure what to do.The pain was very quickly eclipsed by the memory of what they’d just done. Lan Wangji could still feel the ghost of Wei Ying’s lips on his. His gaze fixed itself to his mouth and he resisted the urge to touch it, or better yet, reel Wei Ying in for another kiss.~~~They didn’t talk about it. Neither of them really knew how to put what they felt into words, and then after Wei Ying fell unconscious, they didn’t get the chance. War was looming and Lan Wangji had to leave. -- source link