Wei Wuxian in every episode → episode seventeen.+ extra (just to really hammer in the feels on this

Wei Wuxian in every episode → episode seventeen.+ extra (just to really hammer in the feels on this pain train):People seemed to really like my breakdown in the tags of episode sixteen, so since my blabbering for this one got even longer, I thought I’d shove it under a cut and not spam the tags for once.I saw in a lot of the comments and tag notes that in the last few gifsets, a lot of people feel episode fifteen and sixteen are running contenders for the most painful episode in the show. For me, it’s this one: episode seventeen.This is the episode where we know Jiang Chengs’ golden core is gone. It’s crushed. So much so he can’t even cultivate a new one, and it destroys him. In Jiang Chengs’ mind, he’s better off dead than living a ‘mediocre’ life. And Wei Wuxian watches this breakdown as the pieces of his heart crumble further for his little brother.We actually watch Wei Wuxian destroying himself for his family. He doesn’t eat, he doesn’t sleep, he doesn’t look after himself, he doesn’t grieve. Instead, he dives head first into medical books, absorbing any and all knowledge they have for just that tiny fraction of a chance that he might find something to help his brother: to make things right. Watching this episode back, the most heartbreaking part to me is when Wei Wuxian finally visits his sister, after realising she’s alone and scared and worried for him. Jiang Yanli is his safety, his home, and he finally lets himself go. He asks ‘what if your mother was right, and all this is my fault?’, the demon of guilt he’s been carrying around with him finally spoken in the open. He honestly believes he’s destroyed the Jiangs - and Yanli isn’t having that. She can’t have him breaking, not when she knows his thoughts aren’t true, that her mother had that power to make someone believe the worst of themselves.Wei Wuxian goes on to talk about how he has to find something to save Jiang Cheng - how he wishes Cloud Recesses wasn’t burnt down so he could search their library, and then he remembers. Lan Zhan! Lan Zhan will help him! If he just finds him -- but he doesn’t know where Lan Wangji is. He doesn’t even know if he’s still alive at this point. And even as he turns away, his sister reaches out for him, and Wei Wuxian realises that it doesn’t matter. He can’t leave her. He can’t leave the fragments of his family behind, not now. Not when they’re all so broken. All three of them need one another, they won’t survive without each other.And then … Wei Wuxian finally, finally breaks. He falls into Yanli’s lap - the only safe haven he has now, probably at this stage the only person in the world he feels he can let his barriers down to - and he cries. He cries for all that’s been lost - for Lotus Pier, for Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan’s deaths, for his brothers loss of a golden core -. He cries for his guilt, as he still believes he’s partly to blame for what’s happened. He allows himself to be the young man he is, the man who is scared and alone and too young to have lost so much. He grieves for all he and his siblings have lost, for all the pain that those he loves most dearly have had to go through. And god damnit, it’s rare that we ever see Wei Wuxian so vulnerable, so raw with his emotions. And, with knowing what happens next in the story, I think this is the most poignantly heartbreaking episode. Because after his talk with his sister - when Wei Wuxian has finally found that little slither of hope for Jiang Cheng - we’re met with a scene of him looking up at the trees, seemingly calm yet … sad. As if he knows that what he plans to ask for next will not only change the direction of his life and take away his own hopes and dreams, it may even kill him in the process. But as long as it saves Jiang Cheng? Then that’s fine. Wei Wuxian can live with his own sacrifice if it means his brother has a chance. -- source link

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