kernjosh: I still think a lot more about my body then it would be good for me. But my mind starts to
kernjosh: I still think a lot more about my body then it would be good for me. But my mind starts to heal.. i mean slowly, really slowly, but at least i feel better about the whole thing. And im sorry to say this, but i still do binge. Lately about three times a week. Not as intense as I used to and i don’t hate myself that much afterwards anymore, but it’s still a part of me. The problem is that I tought myself to see the world in black and white, in being comfortable and uncomfortable, productive and unproductive, worthy and unworthy. If I could only convince my mind again that one can only exist because of the other, that if you erase one, you erase both and if you live one, you live both. So the only possible way seems to accept both sides, but in an adequate, lukewarm way. And that’s the point where I can’t get any further because Im still not ready to life that way. And deep down I know that I will never accept to live a half-and-half life and that there must be a different way to get rid of it. -- source link