official-lucifers-child: holyfuckabear:thebaconsandwichofregret:asexual-not-asexual-detective: A
official-lucifers-child: holyfuckabear: thebaconsandwichofregret: asexual-not-asexual-detective: Am I the only one who thinks that hitting a kid and abuse are different things? Like, if I ever had a kid, I wouldn’t spank their ass raw or something like that. But a bop on the mouth or the ear pull or a smack upside the head? Yea. Those are behavior modifiers. Except they’re not. The studies done by the trained psychologists in this joke show that little kids don’t associate being hit with the thing they’ve done wrong. Very small children only understand consequences that are directly caused by the thing they did. Steal a biscuit, biscuit tastes good. Then for no reason mummy hit me. Very different to stole a biscuit, now no biscuit after dinner because I stole a biscuit. And they also show that when a child is old enough to understand why they are being hit that non-physical punishment is equally as effective and less mentally harmful in the long run. Do you know who benefits the most from hitting as a punishment? The parent. It gives a satisfaction rush. Parents do it because it makes them feel good. Basically kids have two stages: too young to understand why they are being hit so physical punishment is useless for anything other than teaching a child that bigger stronger people can hit you whenever they like (Which sounds like the same lesson you would learn from abuse) And the second stage is old enough to be reasoned with so many punishment options are available and you chose physical violence because it makes *you* feel better, which is an abusive action. The only time a person should ever use violence against another human being, of any age, is to stop that person from being violent themselves. Hitting a stranger is a crime. Hitting someone small who relies on you for food, love, and shelter should be as well. Don’t hit your fucking kid. literally that story about the woman who told her kid to go find her a switch to hit him with, and the kid couldn’t but instead brought back a fucking rock as said “hey i couldn’t find what you asked for but here’s a rock to throw at me” like for fucks sake kids just know that violence is violence and can not discern between “behaviour modifiers” (whatever the fuck that means) and just plain violence if you think that it is ever ever ever ever okay to ever ever ever ever lay hands on a goddamn child, i never ever ever ever want you anywhere near a child ever as an abuse victim, just. don’t. even hitting your kid once is too much, especially in a way that is directly stated as a “you did something bad so here is the mild punishment” such as non-sexual spanking. “a smack upside the head”?? you’re really going to fucking SMACK your child for dropping a plate huh??? for stealing a cookie????? for interrupting you while you’re on the phone????? you’ll fucking HIT this very young human that YOU decided to raise and be around???????? uh yeah i don’t fucking think so, don’t ever be around any children ever until you get that extremely harmful and violent idea out of your head (also it should be noted that if you’re like “i was hit and i didn’t turn out violent so i can’t wait to hit my kids” then i have some news for you!!!! you did turn out violent!!!!!!!!!!! because you are literally LOOKING FORWARD to being able to HIT your own fucking CHILDREN.) I was spanked as a kid and as a result didn’t learn to regulate my emotions. I associated hitting with something you did when you were mad at someone so at school if I was mad at someone I would hit them, which got me into trouble at school, lost me friends and earned me another spanking. I never turned out “violent” but I did grow up constantly angry. I had low self-esteem and I didn’t know how to deal with anger. I learned that hitting people would send me to jail so I would snap at people, swear, scream. It ruined romantic relationships, friendships, got me into trouble at work. I had people tell me they were afraid of me. I stopped doing it to other people but instead began pulling out my hair strand by individual strand when I was upset. It took years of therapy to learn what my parents should have taught me, emotional regulation and how to properly manage anger. I am still not great at it. Now keep in mind I wasn’t spanked hard or a lot, but it fucked up my thoughts about how to handle conflict and anger. -- source link