fantasywifeuniverse: Jeez, can you please keep it down? You just woke me up from a nap.Ugh, listen
fantasywifeuniverse: Jeez, can you please keep it down? You just woke me up from a nap. Ugh, listen, Brad. We need to talk. It was probably a mistake to have a coworker as my roommate in the first place, but things are getting absolutely out of hand. You’re crossing too many boundaries in the office and in our apartment. Your friends make a huge mess whenever they come over and when they leave our place reeks of week. And I swear, one of them walked in on me in the shower on purpose. And now you want me to cover this month’s rent because you spent all your savings on… a remote control? I’m sorry but… but I think you should start looking for somewhere else to live. It’ll just be best for everyone. *click* Oooof, what happened? I feel all dizzy and… my… my voice sounds all funny. Brad, what happened. Are… are you standing on something? Why… why are you so tall? OMG Brad did you do something with that remote? You… you accidentally turned me into a copy of Paige? The intern from last year??? Well, like, change me back! Braaaad, I can’t be the intern. I’m Taylor! I’m leading a meeting tomorrow with clients. Pleeease. What… what do you mean it’s not working. What am I going to tell the office??? ‘Hey guys, sorry I look like an adorable coed, feel free to check out my ass when i present the numbers’? Ugh! What? You’ll cover for me at the meeting? You know that’s a lot of work. Right? Oh wow. Thanks, Brad. That’s actually really sweet. Yeah, you said it. Everything will work out best for everyone Hey Brad! Hope work isn’t too tough. So I went to the yoga studio like you recommend and you were right! It felt soooooo goooood! I might even have to go shopping for a few more outfits if I keep this up. OMG, you wouldn’t believe what happened. So, like, afterwards I went to Starbucks to get a cold brew and when they asked for my name — get this — I accidentally said Paige instead of Taylor! As if! Total blonde moment. Anyways, today has been soooo nice. Ya know, if you want to take your time figuring out that remote or whatever, I don’t mind. G’morning Brad! Hope you like the breakfast I made you. I know it’s just cereal, but you’ve been working so hard and I wanted to show you, like, my appreciation ‘n’ junk. Do you like it? Oh good! … Sooo… I was wondering. You used to have a crush on Paige or whatever, right? Why am I asking? No reason. Just curious is all. … My outfit? Oh, well, I kinda ran out of clothes that fit me. Erm, that fit her. Her body. Ya know. But don’t worry! I’m gonna head to the mall today and get, like, a totally sweet new wardrobe. Just you see! So what’dya think Brad? Pretty cute, right? I bet you wish Paige showed up to the office wearing this! *giggle* Oh, and check out this one! It’s not too slutty, is it? I don’t want people to look at me and think I’m, like, a total whorebag or whatever. I’m want them to think that I’m just a cutie blonde Paige! I mean, could you imagine all your bros coming over this weekend to watch football and have them realize I’m actually Taylor? It’d be a total disaster! OK boys! We’ve got Miller Lite, Shiner and, uh… wait, what was I doing. OMG I am soooooo stoned y’all! *giggle* I can’t believe Taylor didn’t think y’all were fun, guys! She must be a real bee-eye-tee-see-aych, know what I mean. Right, Brad? Taylor, your roommate? You must think she’s totally lame and stuck up, right? I mean, I never met her, but I’d tell her to chill the eff out and have some fun now and then. Maybe there’s a reason it’s been a year since you’ve been with a guy, Tay! B’sides, it’s not like you’re getting any younger. You don’t want to end up like your Aunt Meg in Arizona, Tay! Uh…. I mean, like…. I’m gonna go check on the brownies. If you cuties need anything, just page me. Get it! Cuz I’m Paige! *giggle* Hi, I’m Paige! … I’m Paige. My name is Paige. What’s yours? C’mon girl, get it together. *ahem* …. Like, my name’s Paige! What’s yours? *giggle* Taylor? Who’s that? … Taylor? Hmm, doesn’t ring a bell. Oh you mean Brad’s old roommate? I didn’t know her. *hmmmm* … Oh, like, you mean Brad’s old roomie? I didn’t know him. Oh… her? Well, whatever. Hehe, yeah. *giggle* … Hi, I’m Paige, Brad’s roommate. Like, hey, I’m Brad’s roommate, Paige. Brad? Oh yeah, like, he’s my roomie. He’s my roommate. Brad’s my roommate. My roommate. Just my roommate. *hmmmmmm* …. Oh yeah totes. Brad? Yeah, he’s my boyfriend. OMG Paige you did not just say that! *giggle* Oh yeah! Brad’s such a sweet boyfie! He’s my boyfriend! I loooove sucking his diiiick, cuz he’s my boyfriend and all. Jeeez guys! *giggle* Hi, I’m Paige, Brad’s girlfriend! *giggle* Taylor? Who’s that? Oh, you mean Brad’s ex-roommate. Yeah, I didn’t know him. He must’ve moved out before I moved in. Her? Oh, sorry officer. Oopsies! Well, if you have any other questions, just page me. Get it? *giggle* Bradlee! You’re making me all, like, confused and stuff. Why do you keep calling me Taylor? Did you have too much fun smoking with your friends tonight? I’m Paige, r’member? You can call me Paige. And I just… well… I thought that maybe I’d put on some makeup and like, ya know, just show you how much I appreciate everything you do for me, Bradlee. Please. Hey Bradlee! Surprised to see me? What’s wrong, can’t a girl drop in on her man during lunch? Yoga class got out early and I thought you might like the company. And y’all must be my sweetie’s work friends. I’ve heard so much about you! *giggle* Remember me? I’m Paige. I was the intern two summers ago. Hey Bradlee! Or should I start calling you daddy! *giggle* Don’t worry, I’ll still be able to serve up beer and snacks for your boys this weekend. Just no smoking in the house! I don’t want anything to mess with little Paige Jr. or Brad Jr. Plus, you know how that makes me all woozy. All woozy. Uh… Brad… I don’t feel so good… *Yaawwwwwwwwn* Ugh, Brad. I was just dreaming about you. And… the old intern was there but… I was her or…. something. I dunno. Ick, I can’t believe I fell asleep on the floor. This is how I know I’ve been working too hard. Well… stop standing there like some slack jawed imbecile and help me up. I don’t want to catch any diseases that your friends might have tracked onto the floor. Gross. I’m going to go work in my bedroom. Please try to keep it quiet. I need to concentrate on stuff that really matters. Unf. C-c-c-call me Paige, Bradlee. I’m P-p-p-paige. F-f-fer sure! I’m *unf* Paige. I’m Paige. Fuck me Brad. Fuck your Paige. -- source link