So so often, I’m drawn to making comparisons about tension, contrast, and conflict within

So so often, I’m drawn to making comparisons about tension, contrast, and conflict within the world of D/s. It’s difficult to deny that they are there, but at the same time, there’s a question as to why.  I said recently that it’s because D/s is an amplification of a normal relationship, just blowing up the power dynamic that exists within every relationship, vanilla or no. And so it’s only natural that everything else will be magnified along with it, the same tensions, dramas, and conflicts that are inherently found whenever two people get close. There’s a flip side to all that, too, and that’s that putting labels on something lets you identify it, in an Aristotelian way. By which I mean once you’ve laid down on the table that one is Dominant, and one is submissive, you don’t need to fight any more. But of course you need to fight. A relationship without struggle and opposing forces would be almost useless to anyone. There is no ‘perfect’ relationship, at least in the sense of some peaceful idyl. That would be a nightmare. Instead, D/s means that we can formalise those conflicts, put them in a setting where they can happily exist without contaminating the water. So I can call you a filthy whore, but we’re not having an argument, so it doesn’t cut. I can hit you, but it’s not out of anger. You can spit in my face, even, but that’s only going to egg me on. As humans we’ve got a natural inclination towards conflict, but if you contextualise it you can make it a positive force. We might still fight, but the venom will have been carefully extricated.  -- source link
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