May 8th, 2015 Kevin rushed me to the ER because of the massive amount of blood loss I was having, at
May 8th, 2015 Kevin rushed me to the ER because of the massive amount of blood loss I was having, at a rapid speed as my body was miscarrying our first baby. I passed out at some point. I can’t remember if it was before getting in the car or after. The only thing/feelings I remember of that day was the first wave of grief as I ran to the bathroom and then just numb. Numb to the soft looks and kind words from the caring nurse in the ER. Numb to the ultrasound tech, numb to Kevin and the doctor. Grief is a weird thing when doing it in silence; so I decided that wouldn’t be me. “No one I knew had been what I went through.” What a lie our silence is. Opening up about my miscarriage and my grief, 6 months later, allowed conversations that I never imagined, and healing not just in myself, but others that had/were experiencing loss. A few months into 2016, Kevin and I were sharing our story in our church community group, we had a lot of newer people, and speaking on how being in community had really helped during our miscarriage. Once group finished up the newer girl that was sitting next to Kevin rushed over to me, grabbed both of my arms, and looked me straight in the eyes and went “I was your ER nurse.” We both immediately started to cry. I didn’t know this girl whatsoever, and yet, I immediately did. We went to Jamaica with my ER nurse a couple of weeks ago. Sometimes tragedies and traumas happen and we will never fully see the reason as to why, other times it’s clear right away. And then, sometimes, it is weaved into your life bit by bit that 7 years later as you sit and rock your almost-three-year-old to sleep it hits you and all you can go is “Okay, God. I see it.” That moment brought me (and Kevin) friendships that helped deepen our love for our Church community group, that led us to want to be apart of a Church plant to Providence, where we get to be apart of an amazing community of believers. Bridget and I shared in our struggles with infertility and the joys of becoming moms. I have seen these moments slowly happen, but sitting here 7 years later, it is just amazing to actually see it all strung together. (at Couples Tower Isle Resort, Jamaica) https://www.instagram.com/p/CdUhRuqM99c/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI= -- source link