chiribomb:stop-stalin-and-suck-my-dick: flexibility-love-andtrust:h-el-l: i made one For those tha
chiribomb:stop-stalin-and-suck-my-dick: flexibility-love-andtrust: h-el-l: i made one For those that need to hear it: It’s only manipulation when it’s intentional/premeditated. Otherwise it’s just your words having an influence on someone, i.e. The Concept Of Human Interaction. Sometimes that influence is good, sometimes bad. But never malicious. Being conscious of whether your words have a positive or negative impact is a noble endeavor, but you’ll never be a piece of shit unless you’re trying to. This is what the culture of calling everything abuse, manipulation, and gaslighting does to people. Sometimes something is just unhealthy or generally bad without being a master plan to personally ruin your entire life. Please learn the concept of nuance. I disagree with the statement “you’ll never be a piece of shit unless you’re trying to,” because there are a LOT of harmful things people are taught/conditioned about how to act and how to treat others, and I actually think there are quite a lot of pieces of shit out there who think they are being reasonable or even good. I think relatively few people have the conscious thought “I’m going to be a bigot” or “I’m going to abuse my children” or “I’m going to be insufferable at parties” and then following through on that deliberate choice, and I don’t think it really helps to let people off the hook for not meaning to hurt people…and I imagine that the main audience for this post, the kinds of people who have been made to believe that their normal needs and interactions are inherently manipulative by people who wanted them to think so, can benefit from hearing that also, because chances are a lot of you have dealt with some pieces of shit and been taught to downplay their harmful effects on you because they didn’t mean it.BUT, all that being said, I think that if you are the kind of person who worries about being unintentionally hurtful, you’re probably not. Not every shitty person consciously chooses to be shitty, but very few of them worry about it, because that would imply self-awareness. Everyone is capable of being accidentally hurtful, but being a piece of shit means a pattern of behaviour, not the occasionally miscommunication or bad mood. And I also do agree that manipulation, as a specific type of shitty behaviour, is intentional by definition. -- source link