This is an old photo. A dark photo. It looks like a girl just having fun and drinking a bag of wine.
This is an old photo. A dark photo. It looks like a girl just having fun and drinking a bag of wine. To the people who know me really well know that this was one of the darkest holes I have ever been down. I was drinking just about everyday. Not just oh a glass of wine or a beer. It would be a bottle of vodka. Some fireball and some wine to top that off. Then to mix with the wine I would get high out of my mind. Not normal weed either. Nope. The synthetic stuff that’s killed plenty of people and almost killed me. Then to add a little extra to that I would either do some ecstasy or molly, because why not just chill in an old house or the living room doing nothing but rolling out of your mind ? I would get high just about all day everyday. Drink every night and at lease 2-3 times a week I was rolling. I WAS NOT OKAY. I didn’t have people in my life at the time to tell me I had a problem either. I was searching for something. A sense of purpose or a will to live and I thought I could find it in those things. I’m an addict. I come from a line of addicts. I’m depressed. One of my closest friends and the father of my daughter killed himself from depression. I have anxiety that riddles my body everyday. I watch my fiancé struggle with his severe anxiety almost daily. It lies beneath the surface waiting to attack. I was alone even though I was surrounded by people who cared, they were just too fucked I’m doing the things I was doing to realize how screwed we really were. After I overcame my addiction I struggled with the fact that I wasn’t okay. That I was damaged. That I was not perfect. It’s taken me a very long time, I’m still working on it honestly, to realize that it’s okay to not be okay. I’ll say it again. IT IS OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY. You are of no less value because you aren’t perfect. You are worth every ounce of love, respect, compliments, achievements, friendships, relationships regardless of how okay you are or not. Surround yourself with people who tell you “no what you’re doing is wrong. You need help. Let me help you so we can get through this together.” Those are the people you need. Not the ones who watch from the back and tell you it’ll be okay just let it pass on it’s own. IT’S OKAY TO NEED HELP. GET HELP. HELP OTHERS. DON’T BE AFRAID. I almost died and lost everyone because I was too scared to get the help I needed. Please don’t be me. Please get help. Talk it out. Go to rehab. I will help anyone I can in any way I can. Just please don’t be scared. You are loved and you are worth every resource this world has to help you. -- source link