paddedlittleparadise: “If some is good, more is better.” God, why did my mom have to hav
paddedlittleparadise: “If some is good, more is better.” God, why did my mom have to have such an insane motto? If the dishes weren’t getting clean enough, she just kept adding soap. If our ramen tasted merely okay, she’d add enough spice to make it virtually inedible. And if her college-aged daughter happened to dribble in her bed just one night after drinking with her friends… well, she went completely and utterly overboard. “Mom, I can’t even walk right anymore!” I wailed, struggling to stretch my normally too-big pajama bottoms over my now-massive rear. She merely tut-tutted in her usual prevaricatory way. “Oh, Yoko dear, you can still walk just fine. Don’t complain because you still need your mother to put you in nappies at night, okay?” She patted my bottom in a manner she probably meant as affectionate, but which in the current situation only made me feel humiliated. “Instead of complaining like a naughty little girl, you should be thanking me for taking care of your own silly messes! Why, when I was your age…” I desperately tried to tune out her shrill admonitions, grimacing as I felt the enormous bulk around my bottom shifting with every move I made. This was absolutely absurd. She’d been incensed when I’d had to admit that I’d peed my bed last night, but I’d never expected this sort of “precaution”. Six layers of those silly, traditional cloth nappies and some sort of homemade cover later, and here I was - my butt inflated to the size of a party balloon and scarcely able to walk straight, let alone touch my knees together. What the heck could I do? I’d already thought about trying to remove them, but she’d tied and pinned them together in such a complicated way that I was virtually assured of stabbing myself trying to break free… “…and you see, I always put you in two nappies when you were small, dear; your aunt always told me it was silly, but guess who was laughing on the other side when your little cousins’ nappies kept leaking? No, dear, more is always better. You’re a much bigger girl now, so of course you’re going to need more than two! Go on now, go off to bed, okay? At least now I can be sure that you won’t make another puddle in the sheets!” I sighed in exasperation and headed for the stairs in ungainly fashion; no sense in trying to change her stubborn mind. With every step, I felt the warm bulk swinging behind me, compressing slightly between my legs, hugging my rear and throwing off my balance as I struggled up the stairs. I didn’t know exactly what I looked like, but my imagination had no trouble providing its own grotesque image. After all, I had seen plenty of pictures of myself as a toddler… In every photo until I was nearly four, the bubbly bulk of my well-nappied rear had been omnipresent, screaming to everyone that this little girl wasn’t quite potty-trained yet… Guess I’m just a grown-ass version of that again, I thought sourly, waddling up the final stairs. Well, at least my mom had been nothing if not consistent in her principle. More is better… Bah. All I hoped was that my bladder wouldn’t repeat its performance again tonight - or worse yet, leak despite all these stupid layers. God only knew what my nappied butt would look like tomorrow night if that happened… Image Credit: @062dia75 of Twitter Please keep my caption intact if reblogging; as long as you do, may you get a free upgrade to first-class on your next flight. -- source link
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