boykeats: Prayer scratched into the side of a blue light emergency phone station by Keaton St. James
boykeats: Prayer scratched into the side of a blue light emergency phone station by Keaton St. James(patreon)[poem text: here’s a truth i’ve never told anyone else: in summer i ache more than in any other season. i wish i could say i’ll be bright for you, but i worry about my tongue turning to ash at the first syllable. i’ll be soft for you though, a nectarine under kitchen lights, a bolt of unstitched silk, an echo that never belongs to the mountain cliffs, only to the dewy salvia flowers below, to the hummingbirds that alight on them with throats already scarlet. i don’t want to cut myself open to let out the thunderstorm dashing against my ribs!i want a dissolving so quiet even the rainbow cannot feel it. deliver this to me, and i promise, god, i’ll never again flinch like a deer beside the river who thinks any touch of wind must become gun smoke. i’ll give you my canine teeth, my vegetable garden, my monday nights and my thursday afternoons. i’ll go dancing. i’ll throw out all my knives.do you remember in winter when i put cayenne in each mug of hot chocolate, when i lent a friend my scarf for our whole walk home, when i was unafraid of singing? how those days shone like velvet? i don’t know how much farther i can stagger with sun-blistered shoulders and heat-dizzied eyes. i am so tired of all this asking and unanswering inside my blood.listen, you needn’t bring me everything. not all parts of the healing have to be noticed either. i’m just looking for a settling which does not come bearing glances over the shoulder, but sunrises, honeysuckle, laughter, amen. /end poem text.] -- source link