aegosexual-moments: definite-human: heir-of-the-founders:apologieslogan:youreawizardsophie:inn
aegosexual-moments: definite-human: heir-of-the-founders: apologieslogan: youreawizardsophie: inner—utopia: ask-rainy-water-princess: genocidershodan: lemonteaflower: anxiety. Or, you know, you could just stop saying sorry. I take it you don’t have anxiety. You can’t “just stop saying sorry”. You do something, something so little, like accidentally bump into someone. You feel horrible about it. Your brain starts panicking and you have trouble trying to breathe. You stutter an apology. They say it’s okay, but you accidentally do it again, and you apologize again. They just say “Aha, you can stop saying sorry.” And you feel horrible that you’ve probably made them angry or upset, so you mutter out an apology for the third stupid time, and they just say to stop saying sorry. Stop saying sorry. You can’t just tell someone to stop saying you’re sorry. …Wow. I’m usually the one that tells people to stop saying sorry. I actually learned something on Tumblr, thanks! my best friend does this all the time. might I suggest that instead of telling people “stop saying sorry” to tell them something a little softer like “no need to apologize!” or “no worries”? I know the last one sounds a little contradictory for someone with anxiety, but as someone with anxiety, even small reassurances that it’s okay mean everything to me. I usually say something like “its okay, you didnt do anything wrong” if the apology seems like it comes out of nowhere. I’ll also ask what they think they did wrong and reassure them about that. We’re hardwired to be socially cooperative creatures. When you accidentally violate someone’s personal space or possessions, you instinctively want to indicate that it was a mistake, not an act of aggression. If you apologise and the other person accepts, the matter is settled and the tension dissipated. If you apologise and they refuse to accept it, instead calling you out for apologizing, the tension remains or even escalates - maybe not in their mind, but in yours. “Sorry!” “No need to apologise.” - Accepted, resolved. “Sorry!” “Stop apologizing.” - Rejected, unresolved. My go to is usually “you’re good” or “it’s all good”. “No worries” also works. I would recommend against “it’s fine”, just because that very easily reads as a passive aggressive “it’s not fine but I’m socially obligated to accept your apology.” I apologize way too much too, I was “worried” lol, that it was because I felt I had to be perfect as a female, but have realized, like most other things in my life that are negative, it stems from anxiety! I’ve always said, or at least as long as I can remember, have said “you’re good” when people apologized to me in those minor situations. -- source link