lmorpheous: How Do You Determine What Is Play & What Is Abuse? BDSM can be easily misi
lmorpheous: How Do You Determine What Is Play & What Is Abuse? BDSM can be easily misinterpreted by those who do not understand the dynamic. I always stress the fact that consent is key to all kinky play. But what if you think that someone you know is in an abusive situation—how can you tell? Granted the lines can be blurred at times, but here are a few signs of abuse: Abuse is when a dynamic is not consensual. Does the person’s partner constantly put them down or exhibit extremely controlling behaviour in front of others without their consent? Is the partner extremely jealous and do they jump to conclusions or make accusations? Does the person become shy or timid around their partner? Have they withdrawn from family or friends? Do they suddenly cancel plans at the last minute? Are their finances controlled by the dominating partner? Do they have unexplained marks or bruises? Some of this walks a gray line between BDSM and the vanilla world. A play party could be easily misinterpreted as abuse by someone peering in who doesn’t understand the the dynamics of kinky play. However, one clear sign that abuse is taking place is when the power dynamic is nonconsensual. What Can You Do?If someone you know is being taken advantage of or suffering from abuse, try to be supportive, offer shelter and put them in touch with a therapist right away. There has been a rise in the number of kink-friendly doctors and therapists over the past few years who are educated about the distinction between kink and abuse. Keep in mind that this person must want help. You cannot force someone to leave a situation and you cannot make decisions for them. Be supportive and let them know you are there for them if they need you. The knowledge that there is a support system can often be key to such individuals seeking assistance. -- source link