nikki-sapphire: feeling fancy www.instagram.com/p/BylAZa6n-N4XOddkIbiR-XSNp86VENyjb8kTZU0/?i
nikki-sapphire: feeling fancy https://www.instagram.com/p/BylAZa6n-N4XOddkIbiR-XSNp86VENyjb8kTZU0/?igshid=18qycmm0btju7 And Miss Sapphire as the 9th post.I know I’m posting a lot less, but combination of weather and usual life problems makes me a bit semi-dead inside and outside. I wish some things in my life would simply get solved and I would achieve a little peace of mind. I’m strangely suicidal and way too melancholic for my own taste. I’m stuck and I can’t get any decent hope. I’m overthinking things and everybody around me aren’t helping, they have their own problems and … Just … Some of my ancestors, like brothers of my direct ancestors had these problems and strangely how in the past it was treated like “Shit happens, great-uncle Mathew tried few times to kill himself, he didn’t, yep, those were some harsh times, but decent Christians don’t commit suicide … And he was such a decent human being, and blah, blah, blah …” And the funny thing is, my depression is 21 years old, started really hard in 1998, my always semi-autistic mother was fascinated by it, like this doesn’t happen in our family, get over it. Shit it doesn’t happen, at least three person were severely depressed in 21st century and many more showed really hard signs of depression, mostly males. I don’t know, if I do kill myself and you noticed this blog dead for weeks, heck, I really got tired of everything and everyone, but mostly of myself. Suicide is the most harsh level of self-criticism.All the same, have a great Friday and a great week!Hope I will fight my demons. Bruce Springsteen also dealt with this shit for entire his life and he’ll be 70 this year. Working, making a new album. Gives one hope. -- source link