Chapter 21In the church engulfed in silence — Sitting on the bench, Charles speaks of conversa

Chapter 21In the church engulfed in silence — Sitting on the bench, Charles speaks of conversation he had with Mimi, bit by bit.Charles “……Even if she believes in Dazai, she said she can’t believe in me.”Charles “She said he’s never a person who won’t be sad by a person’s death……but a long time ago, I used to be sad a lot too?”Charles “What’s the difference with me and Dazai? Mimi seems like she’s having a hard time with Dazai……”Faust sighs at Charles who’s muttering vaguely.Faust “How rare, for *Shall to show negative emotions.”(*Faust called Charles ‘シャル’ instead of his full name シャルル Charles “Negative emotions……?”Faust “Are you jealous?”Charles looks up blankly at Faust.Charles “I’ve never been jealous of anyone before, but……”Faust “Your UNawareness is a pain.”Faust “It appears that winning over vampires in the mansion is out of the question.”Charles “Such thing is non-negotiable/undiscussable, huh?”Charles “But Dazai —”Dazai “If you could make my wish come true ···— I might be interested to get on with our discussion.”Charles “Despite saying it like that, he didn’t tell me after all.”Charles “What is Dazai’s wish, I wonder? What does he desire to the point pretending not to see Mimi’s favor……”Faust “……”From the information they received from Shakespeare, the reasons of resurrection for the great men in the mansion…………their purposes and backgrounds were being investigated.But regarding Dazai, his exact purpose remains unknown and has not been reported.Faust thinks with his finger on the chin, and opens his mouth after a while.Faust “……Shall. You once said that Dazai’s past might be resemble you.”Charles “Hmm……yeah.”Charles “I used to execute……a lot of people. That guy let someone died too, although the amounts are different.”Charles “I don’t know what caused his double suicide affair, but……”Faust “If that’s the case, a thought experiment……would you like to play an *association game?”Charles “Game?”Faust “It’s simple. — What do you think of the person who’s causing other people to die?”Charles “……”Charles’s suffocated by the cruel question.Faust, observing his reaction, urges Charles to answer with a sharp gaze.Charles “……Regret, I guess. Even if I said I’m sorry……no matter how much I apologize, it’s not enough.”Faust “And, there’s no way for atonement.”Faust “So — what if you could go back to the world before you made a mistake?”Charles “Huh……?”He blinks.Charles “If I can go back……if I can do that, I’ll stop the execution.”Faust “How? Are you going to let the dying people escape?”Charles “If it’s possible, I’ll do it then……”Faust “You’ve got a point there. Then, if there’s a more fundamental solution —” Charles “Fundamental solution……”Charles drops his gaze on the floor and thinks carefully……and suddenly raises his face.Charles “The executioner ···— it’d be good if I were gone.”Charles “—··· Ah, I see. Perhaps Dazai……” Charles smiles, as if he discover a star before his eyes.Charles “……Hey, doc. Lord Vlad said this earlier.”Vlad “If all the great men who influence the world disappear, what will happen to the future?”Vlad “……Hmm, how interesting.”Charles “If Dazai’s purpose is really ‘that’, is it worth trying?”Faust “The great men to disappear……should we do that experiment?”Charles “Yeah. If we’re to use that door, we can even try it right away. Lord Vlad said that the abnormality had subsided.”Faust “No one could use the door properly except for His Excellency Vlad.”Charles “But I’ve heard of it before.”Vlad “— The other side of the door is a space-time interval.”Vlad “It gathers the earnest feelings of humans throughout every era and period. It’s such a door.”Vlad “If you have a strong will, the door may respond and lead you to the desired place.”Faust “……I see. It’s certainly interesting to see what happens if we succeed in using the door, but —” While Faust’s face shows that he’s still has objection on the matter, Charles’s truly in bliss.Charles “……Yeah, that’s it. It’s different from our original plan, but isn’t it better to fulfill Dazai’s wish?”Charles “And then, there would be no death to come after this.”Charles “Isn’t this a good thing? Mimi will definitely understand.”Faust “— Shall. You……do you aware?”Charles tilts his head to Faust’s voice, which has a slight suggestion of sounding out.Faust “His Excellency Vlad still loves human.”Faust “When he casts something away, he has his own standard, whether it’s necessary or unnecessary for the world.”Charles “Ah, if I do whatever I want, will he get angry……?”Faust “It’s not like that.”Faust “……What are you trying to do is Shall’s own choice, not His Excellency.”Charles “Uh huh, is that so……? But I’m sure it’s not in vain.”Charles “Mimi might be sad if Dazai’s gone, but  — “Charles “……I’ll fill the empty hole in her heart.” —··· A few days later, MC’s going out shopping in town with Sebastian.Sebastian “Which reminds me, do you still read Dazai-san’s book?”MC “Ah……, yes. Little by little between works and nights, though.”MC tries to keep calm and answers the shaken topic that’s suddenly comes to her mind.MC “To be frank, I still carry it around, even now.”Sebastian “Right, Mimi is steadily becoming a Dazaist.”Sebastian “It seems that Dazai-san is also writing.”Sebastian “If there’s a request, allow me to do the editing or proofreading……”MC “Sebastian, are you serious……!?”Sebastian “Of course.”Sebastian “But, it’s been particularly hard to catch Dazai-san again, nowadays.”(……That’s right.)MC hasn’t been able to talk with Dazai since that night he kissed her.(He’s actually avoiding me after all……)(But, I’ve been refused many times now, what should I do?)The feelings of awkward, sadness……various emotions are mixed in MC’s chest and she cannot advance to the next step.(Even so, I want to talk, even a little……I want to meet Dazai-san.)When MC’s thinking about such thing, a scenery suddenly pops into her head.(From what Dazai-san told me, if it’s that place —)(I feel like I can meet him……)There’s a strange sense like being called to the multicolored spectacle.(Yeah……let’s go there.)Sebastian “Mimi, what’s wrong?”MC “Nothing……um, Sebastian. Can I take a short detour on our way home?”And then, MC heads for — — alone, to the path she visited with Dazai before.On both sides of the path, the hydrangeas still have their vivid petals. But……(Dazai san’s —··· not here. As expected, such coincidence will not happen so often.)(I wonder why? It felt so wonderful when I walked with Dazai-san, now I’m just lonely……)Except for the changing seasons, the scenery doesn’t change that much, but it looks different.Instead of someone she couldn’t meet, MC opens Dazai’s book.(In those days, it was fun to be together, and it felt so natural to be close to Dazai-san.)(Somewhere in my mind, I was hoping he feels the same way……)MC “This is……a hairpin?”Dazai “It’s a hydrangea hairpin. I thought it would look good on you when I saw it in the town.”Dazai “All right, it suits you well. You look very cute.”**Dazai “You are so good at believing in people.”Dazai “……Really, Mimi-san is so honest enough that makes you dazzling.”Thing that were fun and exciting……when MC remembers the days she spent with Dazai, her chest tightened in pain.(I wonder if we can’t go back like we used to……)(No, even if we can’t go back —)(Right now……the scariest thing would be Dazai-san will go somewhere that’s out of reach.)Dazai “……If you’re going to say that far, then tell me.”Dazai “What kind of things filled my heart/mind while I kissed you just now?”MC “……Dazai-san, are you angry? That, or is this also your intention of being a clown……”Dazai “Hmm, who knows?”Dazai “Mimi-san, I……I’m afraid of your straightforwardness.”Dazai “When you’re with me, I ···—” (I’m still curious about what Dazai was going to say back then……)(What is making Dazai-san baffled to be with me……?)For that little while, it seems MC was able to reach the edge of his heart, and while she’s pondering on his words many times over — MC “Ah……”Maybe because MC was distracted, the book slips off her hand.She reaches out to pick it up in a hurry……and catches sight of a sentence from a page that opened by accident.  —「駄目な男というものは、幸福を受取るに当ってさえ、下手くそを極めるものである。」“A hopeless (useless/no good) man is someone — even at the time he receives happiness — will carry his hopelessness to the extreme.”(Happiness……Right, Dazai-san too —)Dazai “Listen, stop have feelings for such man, since I cannot make you happy.”MC “How about Dazai-san’s happiness……?”Dazai “I don’t need that. I don’t wish for it anymore.”That guy, being stubborn, doesn’t even try to accept something like happiness.(Since the reason for his revival is “to accept punishment for making other people unhappy”……)(But I —) —··· MC wants Dazai to be happy.He scoops up the subtlety of human hearts, and give them incomprehensible kindness in indirect (roundabout) expression.(But even then, he always takes a step back……)MC wants to reach out for him —··· who’s alone at a distance and feeling lonely in his whole life, as he sinks into a dark place.MC “Dazai-san……”MC picks up the book as if touching his heart gently, and as her feelings welled up, she hugs it tightly to her chest…………there were eyes staring at Mimi from the shade of tree.Dazai “I just turned my legs somehow, I wonder why are we attracting each other……”Dazai “The weak fear happiness itself, huh……?”—「弱虫は、幸福をさえ恐れるもの」 “The weak fear happiness itself. They can harm themselves on cotton wool. Sometimes they are wounded even by happiness.”After muttering a sentence he once wrote in ‘No Longer Human’, he laughs, like mocking himself.Dazai “Mimi-san, I’m afraid of you. Since when you’re with me, I feel happy……”Dazai quietly leaves the place, as their thoughts and feelings passing by one another — He then goes towards the man who summoned him.Charles “Welcome, Dazai.”Dazai “It’s an honor to be welcomed directly to your stronghold.” -- source link

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