#testosterone: week 53 Pronouns: it, he I went to a party of gay men (there was one woman, a nonbina

#testosterone: week 53 Pronouns: it, he I went to a party of gay men (there was one woman, a nonbinary AMAB & at least one bisexual, but the vibe was overwhelmingly mlm). There were several queens in attendance, albeit mostly out of drag. I knew a few people but was meeting most for the first time. I’ve been in a gay male spaces before, especially as a drag performer, but I usually end up feeling hopelessly out of place amongst the muscular hunks & the imposter syndrome hits hard. This time I did not feel this way. My friends made a point of checking in on me & a cute person flirted with me. There were very fit guys but also fat men, men in glasses, men with skin conditions, short men. Despite some cuddles & makeouts (not mine) the vibe was not overly sexual – guys were flirty & playful in a casually friendly way. It made me nostalgic for the male friendships I had in high school, afternoons spent playing video games or making potato cannons. It was also better, because of the freely expressed affection I observed. Seeing men touching, kissing, dancing, showing off, laughing made my heart feel so full it might burst. I was overwhelmed with gratitude to be there, drowning in my love for men & the privilege of seeing them in such a carefree & vulnerable context. In the morning I made breakfast & a few guys expressed their alienation from cooking. It was a sobering reminder of the many ways patriarchy fails men, leaving them reliant on women to meet their most basic needs. I want to organize a cooking class to help familiarize folks with a few easy recipes so they can feel confident exploring culinary art on their own. When I left, two friends walked me to the door. They wished me a safe journey & asked me to text when I got in. I felt so loved & held I thought I would cry; the moment is seared into my memory, two bearded faces radiant with affection. I’m so glad I came out & can’t wait to see what the future holds. #hrt #transitionjournal #nonbinary #gaytrans #gay #documentingtransition #fucktheCistem #t #HPonT #2ndpuberty #weveHadOneYesButWhatAbout2ndPuberty #TRANSatlantic #transman #transmasc #lgbt #transtrender #transguy #transsexual #homo https://www.instagram.com/h.p.loveshaft/p/BuCL3_ohCt5/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=112qc4nm87oei -- source link

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