subgirlygirl: I think a lot of people confuse ‘punishment’ and ‘correction.&rsqu
subgirlygirl: I think a lot of people confuse ‘punishment’ and ‘correction.’ I agree with the above statement in regard to punishments. However, correction needs to be carried out swiftly and consistently. For example, if I’m going to learn to not block a swat, then every block (or attempted block) needs to be addressed. Very Pavlovian, perhaps… but that’s how lessons become ingrained :) Subgirlygirls’ point about correction is spot on. I don’t fully agree with the original post though. While it’s surely not a good idea to punish someone in anger and risk doing something that you’ll regret moments after, it’s also not a good idea to suppress your feelings, wait it out, and then coldly punish when there’s only a remembered reason for it. Everyone involved still needs to be somewhat mentally “in” the situation. Everything in moderation. I think it’s fine to clearly express your anger and react to something that has been done immediately, as long as you’re sure that it’s still within reason. Something that works well for me, for example, is immediately and pretty forcefully putting her into the corner so she can FEEL how angry or disappointed I am. And then there’s enough time to let the situation calm a bit and then apply (or at least discuss) the punishment. So my personal steps for a “good” punishment would go along the lines of: 1.) Express initial disappointment/anger2.) Let things calm down a bit3.) Make sure there’s mutual understanding of what the infraction was4.) Decide on punishment and let sub agree to it (!)5.) Act out the punishment6.) Make sure that it’s understood and felt that the whole situation is now resolved (hug, kiss, etc.) That’s only the theory of it, of course. But I think step 1 to 4 have to happen pretty immediately, while step 5 and 6 can be delayed until later. Having the sub agree to the punishment is particularly important, because it gives him/her another chance to explain himself/herself and also feels like creating a binding contract about a punishment that is well deserved, even when it might not be acted out until later. -- source link
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