This is cute and silly and made me lol.I’ve tried to kill myself 5 times now! Omg what a
This is cute and silly and made me lol. I’ve tried to kill myself 5 times now! Omg what a crazy thing to be alive, I remember waking up in the hospital and being like fuck, Goddamnit girl, tell me you didn’t do this shit again! I remember before I died, my life flashed before my eyes but it wasn’t like everyone had explained it, they said it would be like sad and that I’d regret so much but It wasn’t like that! What happened while I was dieing was that I was reliving these beautiful memories of my sisters and I playing outside in the summer time when we were like 2 years old. The memories were so vivid, I swear it was like I was really there and it was warm and we were catching grasshoppers, wearing these little polka-dot swimsuits with ruffles on the butt and sunglass that we’re too big, probably my moms. It was the most beautiful genuine feeling I’d experienced in such a long time, then I don’t remember anything, then I was in the shower and I was worried because my overalls were getting wet but my friend had put me in there, then blackout, then I was living in the backseat of a car and looking out the window counting stars and even though there were millions of stars, I was able to recognize them each individually.. Then blackout, I wake up in a hospital bed and there’s a hummingbird flitting around my head, it’s flying up to my face and tickling my cheeks and it’s glowing.. The little guy lands on my lower arm and sticks it’s little tongue in my arm and starts drinking my blood! So I picked him off of course! Turns out it was the iv giving me fluids lol silly me but it was a beautiful time, I was so happy to have gotten some good rest for the first time in years. Later when they let me go, I walked home 5 miles in hospital slippers in the snow.. The day before I’d given plasma and earned $50, when I got home my roommates had taken it and bought vodka and smokes.. Lol it was okay though, I went and got dressed in my leather jacket, gg Allin shirt, little plaid skirt, and docs and I got Fucking drunk with those shit heads. I love being alive even though my bipolar drives me into the ground sometimes! I’ve split my wrist, od’ on pills twice, od’ on a mixture of dextramethorphan, shrooms, and coke while teaching at a preschool, jumped out in middle of the freeway, I’ve been around and thank the universe everyday that I’m still here. -- source link
#suicide#tweaker nation#girlswhosmokemeth