It wasn’t regression. She knew that, as much as she knew it wasn't entirely normal. B
It wasn’t regression. She knew that, as much as she knew it wasn't entirely normal. But this wasn’t her retreating into childhood, trying to cling to innocence lost, finding herself safe and coddled among the circumstances that had her needs catered to, where the only thing she worried about was Hattie Bremner pushing her into the mud by the log during breaktime. That’s not what it was about, and that wasn’t why she hugged the bear when he looked at her with those eyes. It wasn’t about childhood, no matter what names they may or may not use with one another. On the surface of it, it was about the perversion, of using the roles in a way that was entirely inappropriate. That was the fun parts, that was what had lured her in. But it wasn’t why she stayed, and it wasn’t why she was clinging to a teddy like it was the last thing keeping him from ravaging her. As if she didn’t want it. But then that was part of it, too. From the outside, it sure as hell looked like regression, she knew. The way her tone of voice shifted, the way her mannerisms altered and warped, adopting the kind of persona that would cling to a bear like she was. But it wasn’t as if her thoughts were slipping backwards with everything else. She was still who she had always been, just… safer. That was the crux of it. She’d been submissive for three years, but it was only in these past two months that she’d felt completely comfortable about it. To have him look after her, to be able to step into the bedroom and entirely surrender, to surrender her adulthood along with the rest, to be able to shrug off the responsibilities that forced her to be responsible. It was relief that made her cling. It was safety that had made her stay. He beckoned with a finger. She shook her head, tucked her chin against the soft polyester of the bear’s fur. He smiled, rolled his eyes, and beckoned again. She grinned behind the stuffed toy. He arched an eyebrow, and that finger curled a third time, slow as molasses. The bear fell to the ground, and bounced a few times. Before it was still she had made it across the room and onto his lap, damn near winding him. He didn’t seem to mind. -- source link
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