Textsfromstarkiller

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textsfromstarkiller:(541): Just don’t do anything stupid(1-541): i did a stupid sorry

textsfromstarkiller:(239): You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. B

textsfromstarkiller:(289): I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN(416): HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YO

textsfromstarkiller:(801): I’m too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.

textsfromstarkiller:(317): Do you think telling guys I’m majoring in magic is a good pickup line?

textsfromstarkiller:(503): Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway

textsfromstarkiller:(905): I’m a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy

textsfromstarkiller:(610): I’m way too sober and people are way too heterosexual

textsfromstarkiller:(212): Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The g

textsfromstarkiller:(304): You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing

textsfromstarkiller:(702): Don’t get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts

textsfromstarkiller:(920): There’s nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad

textsfromstarkiller:(727): The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he’d arrested in a while. I’m sti

textsfromstarkiller:(561): I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pi

textsfromstarkiller:(843): Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggl

textsfromstarkiller:(623): I’m at that point in my life where stripping isn’t the worst thing I woul

textsfromstarkiller:(403): No he can’t come. I swear to gods he’s “Why We Can’t Have Nice Things” gi

textsfromstarkiller:(386): only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encoun

textsfromstarkiller:(630): You’re a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom

textsfromstarkiller: (503): …blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i’m in Miam

textsfromstarkiller: (919): dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with mout

textsfromstarkiller:(714): You smoked too much and passed out, didn’t you?(801): You know me so well

textsfromstarkiller:(727): would you eat cereal with weed in it(1-727): who is this???

textsfromstarkiller:(606): If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to

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